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This is like a cookie, it tastes like a cookie having sex with a doughnut.
Daniel Handler
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Daniel Handler
Age: 54
Born: 1970
Born: February 28
Accordionist
Author
Musician
Novelist
Screenwriter
Songwriter
Writer
San Francisco County
California
Lemony Snicket
Cookies
Tastes
Coffee
Sex
Taste
Like
Doughnut
Cookie
More quotes by Daniel Handler
This is my knife. It is very sharp and very eager to hurt you.
Daniel Handler
Taking one’s chances is like taking a bath, because sometimes you end up feeling comfortable and warm, and sometimes there is something terrible lurking around that you cannot see until it is too late and you can do nothing else but scream and cling to a plastic duck.
Daniel Handler
It is always sad when someone leaves home, unless they are simply going around the corner and will return in a few minutes with ice-cream sandwiches.
Daniel Handler
I was not a particularly brave child, I think, because I had a narrative mind, because my mind automatically went to any terrible thing that could happen.
Daniel Handler
Hal is on his way. The nurse announced reentering the room.
Daniel Handler
There is only laughing across the land as the car moves you along, on your way someplace with love in the car.
Daniel Handler
If only Uncle Monty knew what we know, Violet said, and Stephano knew that he knew what we know. But Uncle Monty doesn't know what we know, and Stephano knows that he doesn't know what we know. I know, Klause said. I know you know, Violet said
Daniel Handler
I never want to be away from you again, except at work, in the restroom or when one of us is at a movie the other does not want to see.
Daniel Handler
Everybody has a theory.
Daniel Handler
Is it fair for the bears to come down to where humans live, looking for food? Is it fair for the Duke's soldiers to shoot at them? Is it fair for the bears to crush them with giant snowballs? Often, if you point out something that isn't fair, someone will reply, Life isn't fair. What is to be done with such people?
Daniel Handler
Adverbs is a book about love, and I thought that was pretty cheerful, but people who are reading it now are telling me that it's actually quite dark.
Daniel Handler
The book was long, and difficult to read, and Klaus became more and more tired as the night wore on. Occasionally his eyes would close. He found himself reading the same sentence over and over. He found himself reading the same sentence over and over. He found himself reading the same sentence over and over.
Daniel Handler
Of course I'm trying to trick you! That's the way of the world, Baudelaires. Everyone runs around with their secrets and their schemes, trying to outwit everyone else.
Daniel Handler
Hup hup ha ha hammy hee hee!
Daniel Handler
Even the best plans can change if there's an accident.
Daniel Handler
Like People, animals will become frightened and likely do whatever you say if you whip them enough.
Daniel Handler
We are respecting our parents' wishes....They didn't want to shelter us from the world's treacheries. They wanted us to survive them.
Daniel Handler
Count Olaf certainly does sound evil. Imagine forcing children to stand near a stove!
Daniel Handler
The right hand doesn’t know what the left is doing” is a phrase that refers to times when people ought to know, but don’t know, about something that is happening very close to them. For instance, you ought to know about the man who watches you when you sleep.
Daniel Handler
All the secrets of the world are contained in books. Read at your own risk.
Daniel Handler