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Anyone who thinks the pen is mightier than the sword has not been stabbed with both.

Daniel Handler

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Daniel Handler
Age: 54
Born: 1970
Born: February 28
Accordionist
Author
Musician
Novelist
Screenwriter
Songwriter
Writer
San Francisco County
California
Lemony Snicket
Sword
Pens
Thinks
Anyone
Thinking
Mightier
Stabbed

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We are all told to ignore bullies. It's something they teach you, and they can teach you anything. It doesn't mean you learn it. It doesn't mean you believe it. One should never ignore bullies. One should stop them.
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If an optimist had his left arm chewed off by an alligator, he might say in a pleasant and hopeful voice, Well this isn't too bad, I don't have a left arm anymore but at least nobody will ever ask me if I'm left-handed or right-handed, but most of us would say something more along the lines of, Aaaaaa! My arm! My arm!
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Count Olaf certainly does sound evil. Imagine forcing children to stand near a stove!
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You might be afraid of the dark, but the dark is not afraid of you. That’s why the dark is always close by.
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Nobody wants to hear that you will try your best. It is the wrong thing to say. It is like saying 'I probably won't hit you with a shovel.' Suddenly everyone is afraid you will do the opposite.
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They were almond cookies, although they could have been made of spinach and shoes for all I cared. I ate eleven of them, right in a row. It is rude to take the last cookie.
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This is an absurd moral, for you and I both know that sometimes not only is it good to lie, it is necessary to lie.
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I was not a particularly brave child, I think, because I had a narrative mind, because my mind automatically went to any terrible thing that could happen.
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In times of extreme stress, one can often find energy hidden in even the most exhausted areas of the body.
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and what might seem to be a series of unfortunate events may in fact be the first steps of a journey.
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It is so rare in this world to meet a trustworthy person who truly wants to help you, and finding such a person can make you feel warm and safe, even if you are in the middle of a windy valley high up in the mountains.
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...you know that a good, long session of weeping can often make you feel better, even if your circumstances have not changed one bit.
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People worry more about girls, for a good reason: I don't think my parents thought I was going to be raped by a classmate or attacked when I was walking alone in some neighborhood. So it's not just paranoid parents.
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I had this idea about terrible things happening to orphans, and I knew it was such a horrible idea that the idea of writing it down and then submitting it professionally was obviously absurd.
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There is no worse sound in the world than someone who cannot play the violin but insists on doing so anyway.
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For every teenager I know, having a phone is a mixed blessing, because your parents can press a button and figure out where you are.
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I think I’ve always believed that there is one person in the universe who you’re truly meant for–for whom you are truly meant–and the fact that sometimes there are two or even more people on the earth you can fall in love with really bothers me. It suggests that if you work hard you can be meant for anyone.
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Blank paper has always inspired me.
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