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We are all told to ignore bullies. It's something they teach you, and they can teach you anything. It doesn't mean you learn it. It doesn't mean you believe it. One should never ignore bullies. One should stop them.

Daniel Handler

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Daniel Handler
Age: 54
Born: 1970
Born: February 28
Accordionist
Author
Musician
Novelist
Screenwriter
Songwriter
Writer
San Francisco County
California
Lemony Snicket
Teach
Learn
Doesn
Anything
Bullies
Mean
Bully
Something
Ignore
Believe
Told
Never
Stop

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My chauffer once told me that I would feel better in the morning, but when I woke up the two of us were still on a tiny island surrounded by man-eating crocodiles, and, as I'm sure you can understand, I didn't feel any better about it.
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This toast feels raw. Is it safe to eat raw toast?
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Count Olaf sounds like an awful person. I hope he is torn apart by wild animals someday. Wouldn't that be satisfying?
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For Beatrice, when we met, my life began. Soon afterwards, yours ended.
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Taking one’s chances is like taking a bath, because sometimes you end up feeling comfortable and warm, and sometimes there is something terrible lurking around that you cannot see until it is too late and you can do nothing else but scream and cling to a plastic duck.
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The sad truth is the truth is sad.
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You may be right,' she said, a phrase which here meant 'I’m wrong, but I don’t have the courage to say so.
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Sometimes words are not enough.
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I think if I were walking someplace and I saw a corpse my brain would tell me it was a million things before I believed it was a corpse.
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I go to bed early and rise late and feel as if I have hardly slept, probably because I have been reading almost the entire time.
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I will love you as the iceberg loves the ship, and the passengers love the lifeboat and the lifeboat loves the teeth of the sperm whale, and the sperm whale loves the flavor of naval uniforms.
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E! Klaus cried. E as in Exit! The Baudelaires ran down E as in Exit, but when they reached the last cabinet, the row was becoming F as in Falling File Cabinets, G as in Go the Other Way! and H as in How in the World Are We Going to Escape?
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I'm not very good at the accordion. If I played guitar, I wouldn't be on anyone's album. But because I play the accordion and no one else does, I end up doing strange things.
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There is a pair of snakes who have learned to drive a car so recklessly that they would run you over in the street and never stop to apologize.
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When you need a haircut, it looks like you have no one to take care of you.
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Keep anyone with whom you can read in silence.
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