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Anyone who gives you a cinnamon roll fresh out of the oven is a friend for life.

Daniel Handler

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Daniel Handler
Age: 54
Born: 1970
Born: February 28
Accordionist
Author
Musician
Novelist
Screenwriter
Songwriter
Writer
San Francisco County
California
Lemony Snicket
Fresh
Friend
Gives
Anyone
Giving
Cinnamon
Life
Oven
Ovens
Roll

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Everyone on earth would never starve and forever find love and happiness, since we won, but if we’d lost, they would have gouged out our eyes and thrown us naked onto hot coals and poisonous snakes for all the cheering and hugging at the end, strangers hugging like the end of The Omega Virus when Steve Sturmine finds the antidote.
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The key to good eavesdropping is not getting caught.
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Perhaps if we saw what was ahead of us, and glimpsed the follies, and misfortunes that would befall us later on, we would all stay in our mother's wombs, and then there would be nobody in the world but a great number of very fat, very irritated women.
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Of course I'm trying to trick you! That's the way of the world, Baudelaires. Everyone runs around with their secrets and their schemes, trying to outwit everyone else.
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Tell me what it is, or prepare to eat harpoon.
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This is like a cookie, it tastes like a cookie having sex with a doughnut.
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A girl meets a boy, Ed, and everything changes, or so she says.
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The worst surroundings in the world can be tolerated if the people in them are interesting and kind.
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I hadn't even been looking, not for you, and now you were my heart's desire.
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It is difficult, when faced with a situation you cannot control, to admit you can do nothing.
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There are so many movies like this, where you thought you were smarter than the screen but the director was smarter than you, of course he's the one, of course it was a dream, of course she's dead, of course, it's hidden right there, of course it's the truth and you in your seat have failed to notice in the dark.
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You might be afraid of the dark, but the dark is not afraid of you. That’s why the dark is always close by.
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In love, as in life, one misheard word can be tremendously important. If you tell someone you love them, for instance, you must be absolutely certain that they have replied I love you back and not I love your back before you continue the conversation.
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For Beatrice, when we first met, I was lonely, and you were pretty. Now I am pretty lonely.
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For Beatrice - you will always be in my mind, in my heart and in your grave.
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Nobody wants to fall into a safety net, because it means the structure in which they've been living is in a state of collapse and they have no choice but to tumble downwards. However, it beats the alternative.
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