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Anyone who gives you a cinnamon roll fresh out of the oven is a friend for life.

Daniel Handler

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Daniel Handler
Age: 54
Born: 1970
Born: February 28
Accordionist
Author
Musician
Novelist
Screenwriter
Songwriter
Writer
San Francisco County
California
Lemony Snicket
Gives
Anyone
Giving
Cinnamon
Life
Oven
Ovens
Roll
Fresh
Friend

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If he’s not gay and he hung out with you the whole time, he wanted to be. It’s boyfriend or want to be boyfriend or I guess gay. Those are the choices.
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This is an absurd moral, for you and I both know that sometimes not only is it good to lie, it is necessary to lie.
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For Beatrice, when we met, my life began. Soon afterwards, yours ended.
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But I must admit I miss you terribly. The world is too quiet without you nearby.
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Having an aura of menace is like having a pet weasel, because you rarely meet someone who has one, and when you do, it makes you want to hide under the coffee table.
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That night it felt that somehow by flicking them off the roof, the matches would burn down everything, the sparks from the tips of the flames, torching the world and all the heartbroken people in it.
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Just about everybody has written a first novel that they throw away before writing their actual first novel.
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I liked, I admit, that we didn’t pretend there hadn’t been other girls. There was always a girl on you in the halls at school, like they came free with a backpack.
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It was a curious feeling, that something could be so close and so distant at the same time.
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Stretched out in front of me was my time as an adult, and then a skeleton, and then nothing except perhaps a few books on a few shelves.
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After a certain age, you couldn't even say where you were from. You went someplace, and lived there. And then you went someplace else.
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I think we'll always miss our parents. But I think we can miss them without being miserable all the time. After all, they wouldn't want us to be miserable.
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The difference between a house and a home is like the difference between a man and a woman-- it might be embarrassing to explain, but it would be very unusual to get them confused.
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Nobody wants to hear that you will try your best. It is the wrong thing to say. It is like saying 'I probably won't hit you with a shovel.' Suddenly everyone is afraid you will do the opposite.
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