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I do what I do, I said, in order to do something else.

Daniel Handler

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Daniel Handler
Age: 54
Born: 1970
Born: February 28
Accordionist
Author
Musician
Novelist
Screenwriter
Songwriter
Writer
San Francisco County
California
Lemony Snicket
Something
Else
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More quotes by Daniel Handler

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Everyone tells you it's all right to cry, but not enough people say it's all right if you don't want people to know.
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You know I want to be a director, but you could never truly see the movies in my head and that, Ed, is why we broke up.
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If you wish to avoid an unpleasant story you had best put this book down
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We are a nation of children letting horrible things happen, and flunking Calc.
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This story is about the Baudelaires. And they are the sort of people who know that there’s always something. Something to invent, something to read, something to bite, and something to do, to make a sanctuary, no matter how small. And for this reason, I am happy to say, the Baudelaires were very fortunate indeed.
Daniel Handler
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-Most people would say that she's beautiful. -That's because she's been with most people.
Daniel Handler
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Count Olaf certainly does sound evil. Imagine forcing children to stand near a stove!
Daniel Handler
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Everyone should be able to do one card trick, tell two jokes, and recite three poems, in case they are ever trapped in an elevator.
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There are some secrets you want to keep to yourself, even if they don't matter. They might only matter if you keep them secret.
Daniel Handler
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I’m not a cuckoo, either. I’m a fool is what.
Daniel Handler
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Goodness! Golly! Good God! Blessed Allah! Zeus and Hera! Mary and Joseph! Nathaniel Hawthorne! Don't touch her! Grab her! Move closer! Run away! Don't move! Kill the snake! Leave it alone! Give it some food! Don't let it bite her! Lure the snake away! Here, snakey! Here, snakey snakey!
Daniel Handler
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There was still plenty of water in the basement, and I felt it soaking me from the knees on down. If someone wanted to torture me until I told them a critical piece of information, all they would have to do is get my socks wet. It feels terrible.
Daniel Handler
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I'm not very good at the accordion. If I played guitar, I wouldn't be on anyone's album. But because I play the accordion and no one else does, I end up doing strange things.
Daniel Handler
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Deciding whether or not to trust a person is like deciding whether or not to climb a tree, because you might get a wonderful view from the highest branch, or you might simply get covered in sap, and for this reason many people choose to spend their time alone and indoors, where it is harder to get a splinter.
Daniel Handler
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One has to adopt a sort of Zen calm, in which you know you wrote the best book that you could at the time.
Daniel Handler
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I think we'll always miss our parents. But I think we can miss them without being miserable all the time. After all, they wouldn't want us to be miserable.
Daniel Handler
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People don't always get what they deserve in this world.
Daniel Handler
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I started making plans, thinking we would get that far.
Daniel Handler
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I want to love you and take you pretty places. Yes, I have things wrong, but also I can walk through walls if you'll let me show you.
Daniel Handler
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It is not the diamonds or the birds, the people or the potatoes, it is not any of the nouns. The miracle is the adverbs, the way things are done. It is the way love gets done despite every catastrophe.
Daniel Handler