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This is an absurd moral, for you and I both know that sometimes not only is it good to lie, it is necessary to lie.

Daniel Handler

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Daniel Handler
Age: 54
Born: 1970
Born: February 28
Accordionist
Author
Musician
Novelist
Screenwriter
Songwriter
Writer
San Francisco County
California
Lemony Snicket
Absurd
Necessary
Moral
Lying
Sometimes
Good

More quotes by Daniel Handler

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Adverbs is a book about love, and I thought that was pretty cheerful, but people who are reading it now are telling me that it's actually quite dark.
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Everyone should be able to do one card trick, tell two jokes, and recite three poems, in case they are ever trapped in an elevator.
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Chestnuts in stuffing tastes like someone chewed up a tree branch and then French-kissed it into your mouth.
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There was still plenty of water in the basement, and I felt it soaking me from the knees on down. If someone wanted to torture me until I told them a critical piece of information, all they would have to do is get my socks wet. It feels terrible.
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The story of the Baudelaires takes place in a very real world, where some people are laughed at just because they have something wrong with them, and where children can find themselves all alone in the world, struggling to understand the mystery that surrounds them.
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Sometimes words are not enough.
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In times of extreme stress, one can often find energy hidden in even the most exhausted areas of the body.
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For every teenager I know, having a phone is a mixed blessing, because your parents can press a button and figure out where you are.
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I hadn't even been looking, not for you, and now you were my heart's desire.
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There are some who go through life with a shadow hanging over them, particularly if they live in a building which has long wide awnings.
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One of the world's most tiresome questions is what object one would bring to a desert island,because people always answer a deck of cards or Anna Karenina when the obvious answer is a well equipped boat and a crew to sail me off the island and back home where I can play all the card games and read all the Russian novels I want.
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My chauffer once told me that I would feel better in the morning, but when I woke up the two of us were still on a tiny island surrounded by man-eating crocodiles, and, as I'm sure you can understand, I didn't feel any better about it.
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I like writing for movies. It's nice to be alone working on fiction in your room, and then it's nice to be in a room with a bunch of people working on a movie.
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Just about everybody has written a first novel that they throw away before writing their actual first novel.
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Anyone who gives you a cinnamon roll fresh out of the oven is a friend for life.
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Most schools have a loud system of loud bells, which startle the students and teachers at regular intervals and remind them that time is passing even more slowly than it seems.
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We laughed the rest of the way, because the point of this story is, it is not the cookies. It is the love.
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I like to think that I get better and better as a writer, but it seems pretty easy to me to slip on disguises of various people.
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If you are allergic to a thing, it is best not to put that thing in your mouth, particularly if the thing is cats.
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Dumping you times infinity. Still not enough.
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