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There is a pair of snakes who have learned to drive a car so recklessly that they would run you over in the street and never stop to apologize.
Daniel Handler
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Daniel Handler
Age: 54
Born: 1970
Born: February 28
Accordionist
Author
Musician
Novelist
Screenwriter
Songwriter
Writer
San Francisco County
California
Lemony Snicket
Running
Pair
Never
Pairs
Would
Drive
Street
Car
Recklessly
Streets
Apologize
Learned
Snakes
Stop
Apologizing
More quotes by Daniel Handler
This is love, and the trouble with it: it can make you embarrassed. Love is really liking someone a whole lot and not wanting to screw that up. Everybody's chewed over this. This unites us, this part of love.
Daniel Handler
I never want to be away from you again, except at work, in the restroom or when one of us is at a movie the other does not want to see.
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Love can smack you like a seagull, and pour all over your feet like junkmail. You can't be ready for such a thing any more than salt water taffy gets you ready for the ocean.
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I’m happier than a pig eating bacon!
Daniel Handler
Life never end when you are in it.
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Composer” is a word which here means “a person who sits in a room, muttering and humming and figuring out what notes the orchestra is going to play.” This is called composing. But last night, the Composer was not muttering. He was not humming. He was not moving, or even breathing. This is called decomposing.
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Put your hair up, Min. The secret ingredient is not your hair.
Daniel Handler
A long time ago, there was no such thing as school, and children spent their days learning a trade, a phrase which here means standing around doing tedious tasks under the instruction of a bossy adult. In time, however, people realized that the children could be allowed to sit, and the first school was invented.
Daniel Handler
If you are a student you should always get a good nights sleep unless you have come to the good part of your book, and then you should stay up all night and let your schoolwork fall by the wayside, a phrase which means 'flunk'.
Daniel Handler
But it's far too late for us ring, hair, letters, photographs - all traces of our love will be scattered then, like an anagram.
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When trouble strikes, head to the library. You will either be able to solve the problem, or simply have something to read as the world crashes down around you.
Daniel Handler
I’m reminded of a book my father used to read me,” she said. “A bunch of elves and things get into a huge war over a piece of jewelry that everybody wants but nobody can wear.
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When you say, History is written by the winners, you like to think about someone who isn't you. You want to think, Oh, that's the juggernaut I'm standing against. But you're probably part of it.
Daniel Handler
It is always tedious when someone tells you that if you don't stop crying, they will give you something to cry about, because if you are crying then you already have something to cry about, and so there is no reason for them to give you anything additional to cry about, thank you very much.
Daniel Handler
...in life it is often the tiny details that end up being the most important.
Daniel Handler
It is likely I will die next to a pile of things I was meaning to read.
Daniel Handler
I know what is going on, said Sir. I am the Boss! Of course I know!
Daniel Handler
I'm sure you have heard it said that appearance does not matter so much, and that it is what's on the inside that counts. This is, of course, utter nonsense, because if it were true then people who were good on this inside would would never have to comb their hair or take a bath, and the whole world would smell even worse than it already does.
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...that's not why we broke up. I love it, I miss it, I hate to give it back to you, this complicated thing, it's why we stayed together
Daniel Handler
Sooner or later, everyone's story has an unfortunate event or two...The solution, of course, is to stay as far away from the world as possible and lead a safe, simple life.
Daniel Handler