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It is my fate that some of my questions will never be answered.

Daniel Handler

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Daniel Handler
Age: 54
Born: 1970
Born: February 28
Accordionist
Author
Musician
Novelist
Screenwriter
Songwriter
Writer
San Francisco County
California
Lemony Snicket
Never
Answered
Questions
Fate

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Having a personal philosophy is like having a pet marmoset, because it may be very attractive when you acquire it, but there may be situations when it will not come in handy at all.
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Sooner or later, everyone's story has an unfortunate event or two...The solution, of course, is to stay as far away from the world as possible and lead a safe, simple life.
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Sometime during your life—in fact, very soon—you may find yourself reading a book, and you may notice that a book’s first sentence can often tell you what sort of story your book contains.
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Miracles are like meatballs, because nobody can exactly agree on what they are made of, where they come from, or how often they should appear.
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Every night I give a violin recital for six hours, and attendance is mandatory. The word 'mandatory' means that if you don't show up, you have to buy me a large bag of candy and watch me eat it.
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Like a lot of people whose children were small in the 2000s, I read [Daniel Handler] books out loud and I loved them.
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We are respecting our parents' wishes....They didn't want to shelter us from the world's treacheries. They wanted us to survive them.
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Opera was an enormous part of my childhood. My parents were both opera buffs, and they met in the box seat of an opera performance. And I also was a boy soprano, so before puberty hit, I was onstage playing a wide variety of orphans and urchins in all sorts of operas, and the sheer melodrama of their stories was just always appealing to me.
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Certain people have said that the world is like a calm pond, and that anytime a person does even the smallest thing, it is as if a stone has dropped into the pond, spreading circles of ripples further and further out, until the entire world has been changed by one tiny action.
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All the secrets of the world are contained in books. Read at your own risk.
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Death is something you cannot escape, such as death, or a cheesecake that has curdled, both of which always turn up sooner later.
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All his life, Klaus had believed that if you read enough books, you could solve any problem, but now he wasn't so sure.
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Like People, animals will become frightened and likely do whatever you say if you whip them enough.
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It was a secret time and place, you next to me, untraceable and out of this world
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That night it felt that somehow by flicking them off the roof, the matches would burn down everything, the sparks from the tips of the flames, torching the world and all the heartbroken people in it.
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It is very frustrating not to be understood in this world. If you say one thing and keep being told that you mean something else, it can make you want to scream. But somewhere in the world there is a place for all of us, whether you are an electric form of decoration, peppermint-scented sweet, a source of timber, or a potato pancake.
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But it's far too late for us ring, hair, letters, photographs - all traces of our love will be scattered then, like an anagram.
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Lately it has become more and more difficult to attend dinner parties without the evening ending in gunfire or tapioca.
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The last time I saw you I was trying to throw thumbtacks into your cradle!
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We need things, and the opposite of them, and we are so rarely completely comfortable.
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