Quote

I’m reminded of a book my father used to read me,” she said. “A bunch of elves and things get into a huge war over a piece of jewelry that everybody wants but nobody can wear.

Daniel Handler

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Daniel Handler
Age: 54
Born: 1970
Born: February 28
Accordionist
Author
Musician
Novelist
Screenwriter
Songwriter
Writer
San Francisco County
California
Lemony Snicket
Things
Huge
Elves
Wants
Jewelry
Everybody
Reminded
Read
Bunch
War
Piece
Father
Wear
Used
Nobody
Book
Pieces

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Well-read people are less likely to be evil.
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Instead of the word 'love' there was an enormous heart, a symbol sometimes used by people who have trouble figuring out the difference between words and shapes.
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Dumping you times infinity. Still not enough.
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No reality has the power to dispel a dream.
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Temper tantrums, however fun they may be to throw, rarely solve whatever problem is causing them.
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I'm sure you have heard it said that appearance does not matter so much, and that it is what's on the inside that counts. This is, of course, utter nonsense, because if it were true then people who were good on this inside would would never have to comb their hair or take a bath, and the whole world would smell even worse than it already does.
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Sometimes words are not enough.
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Your initial opinion on just about anything may change over time.
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I started making plans, thinking we would get that far.
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It is very easy to say that the important thing is to try your best, but if you are in real trouble the most important thing is not trying your best, but getting to safety.
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With the publishing of The Basic Eight, it was often assumed that I was really immature and callow, and with the publishing of Watch Your Mouth, it was assumed that I was oversexualized, and with Lemony Snicket, it's often assumed that I'm erudite and depressed. But all the voices more or less came naturally to me.
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Love can smack you like a seagull, and pour all over your feet like junkmail. You can't be ready for such a thing any more than salt water taffy gets you ready for the ocean.
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For Beatrice, when we met, my life began. Soon afterwards, yours ended.
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I’m happier than a pig eating bacon!
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Dead women tell no tales. Sad men write them down.
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There is a pair of snakes who have learned to drive a car so recklessly that they would run you over in the street and never stop to apologize.
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Get out of my way, you cakesniffers!” said a rude, violent, and filthy little girl, shoving the Baudelaire orphans aside as she dashed by.
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There are many things in life that become different if you take a long look at them.
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