Quote

I’m reminded of a book my father used to read me,” she said. “A bunch of elves and things get into a huge war over a piece of jewelry that everybody wants but nobody can wear.

Daniel Handler

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Daniel Handler
Age: 54
Born: 1970
Born: February 28
Accordionist
Author
Musician
Novelist
Screenwriter
Songwriter
Writer
San Francisco County
California
Lemony Snicket
Wants
Jewelry
Everybody
Reminded
Read
Bunch
War
Piece
Father
Wear
Used
Nobody
Book
Pieces
Things
Huge
Elves

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Announcing your death should be like announcing that you are a lunar moth: It must be done quietly or it will not be believed.
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They were almond cookies, although they could have been made of spinach and shoes for all I cared. I ate eleven of them, right in a row. It is rude to take the last cookie.
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Deciding whether or not to trust a person is like deciding whether or not to climb a tree, because you might get a wonderful view from the highest branch, or you might simply get covered in sap, and for this reason many people choose to spend their time alone and indoors, where it is harder to get a splinter.
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Take back the smile and the night, take it all back, I wish I could.
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It has been said that the hardest job in the world is raising a child, but the people who says this have probably never worked at a comb factory or captured pirates on the high seas.
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All his life, Klaus had believed that if you read enough books, you could solve any problem, but now he wasn't so sure.
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Like People, animals will become frightened and likely do whatever you say if you whip them enough.
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It is not the diamonds or the birds, the people or the potatoes, it is not any of the nouns. The miracle is the adverbs, the way things are done. It is the way love gets done despite every catastrophe.
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I stayed there loving you, though the love made me, not sad but I guess melancholy, for a reason I couldn’t point to.
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Just because you don't understand it doesn't mean it isn't so.
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I know what is going on, said Sir. I am the Boss! Of course I know!
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Count Olaf certainly does sound evil. Imagine forcing children to stand near a stove!
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If writers wrote as carelessly as some people talk, then adhasdh asdglaseuyt[bn[ pasdlgkhasdfasdf.
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Every new promise was like something heavy I had to carry, with no place to put anything down.
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Count Olaf sounds like an awful person. I hope he is torn apart by wild animals someday. Wouldn't that be satisfying?
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The key to good eavesdropping is not getting caught.
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You might be afraid of the dark, but the dark is not afraid of you. That’s why the dark is always close by.
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Never trust anyone who has not brought a book with them.
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Shyness is a curious thing, because, like quicksand, it can strike people at any time, and also, like quicksand, it usually makes its victims look down.
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