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They say in every library there is a single book that can answer the question that burns like a fire in the mind.

Daniel Handler

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Daniel Handler
Age: 54
Born: 1970
Born: February 28
Accordionist
Author
Musician
Novelist
Screenwriter
Songwriter
Writer
San Francisco County
California
Lemony Snicket
Mind
Library
Like
Answer
Single
Question
Answers
Fire
Book
Every
Burns

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This toast feels raw. Is it safe to eat raw toast?
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I will love you as misfortune loves orphans, as fire loves innocence, and as justice loves to sit and watch while everything goes wrong.
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I write storys to entertain not to be the best
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The rinsed foam swirled into one drain that always clogged come October when the maples dropped Canadian propaganda over everything.
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This is love if it's not with you, a terrible fiery something that makes people look away, and it feels like a punch in the throat.
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I’m reminded of a book my father used to read me,” she said. “A bunch of elves and things get into a huge war over a piece of jewelry that everybody wants but nobody can wear.
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The right hand doesn’t know what the left is doing” is a phrase that refers to times when people ought to know, but don’t know, about something that is happening very close to them. For instance, you ought to know about the man who watches you when you sleep.
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A long time ago, there was no such thing as school, and children spent their days learning a trade, a phrase which here means standing around doing tedious tasks under the instruction of a bossy adult. In time, however, people realized that the children could be allowed to sit, and the first school was invented.
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You should never stick something that you are allergic to into your mouth, especially if that thing is cats.
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With a library it is easier to hope for serendipity than to look for a precise answer.
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I have a dream of what would have happened if what happened instead hadn't.
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So every so often, when I meet someone who's honestly appalled by my books and doesn't understand why they would be attractive to people... I find such people sort of charming, even though they usually don't like me.
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Count Olaf sounds like an awful person. I hope he is torn apart by wild animals someday. Wouldn't that be satisfying?
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Miracles are like meatballs, because nobody can exactly agree on what they are made of, where they come from, or how often they should appear.
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It is almost as if happiness is an acquired taste, like coconut cordial or ceviche, to which you can eventually become accustomed, but despair is something surprising each time you encounter it.
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It is useless for me to describe to you how terrible Violet, Klaus, and even Sunny felt in the time that followed. If you have ever lost someone very important to you, then you already know how it feels, and if you haven't, you cannot possibly imagine it.
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There is no way of knowing for sure whether or not you can trust someone, for the simple reason that circumstances change all of the time.
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Stretched out in front of me was my time as an adult, and then a skeleton, and then nothing except perhaps a few books on a few shelves.
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Having a personal philosophy is like having a pet marmoset, because it may be very attractive when you acquire it, but there may be situations when it will not come in handy at all.
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In this book, not only is there no happy ending, there is no happy beginning and very few happy things in the middle.
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