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It is very easy to say that the important thing is to try your best, but if you are in real trouble the most important thing is not trying your best, but getting to safety.

Daniel Handler

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Daniel Handler
Age: 54
Born: 1970
Born: February 28
Accordionist
Author
Musician
Novelist
Screenwriter
Songwriter
Writer
San Francisco County
California
Lemony Snicket
Trouble
Getting
Easy
Best
Real
Important
Thing
Trying
Safety

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If you wish to avoid an unpleasant story you had best put this book down
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One of the world's most tiresome questions is what object one would bring to a desert island,because people always answer a deck of cards or Anna Karenina when the obvious answer is a well equipped boat and a crew to sail me off the island and back home where I can play all the card games and read all the Russian novels I want.
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The way sadness works is one of the strangest riddles of the world.
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A passport, as I'm sure you know, is a document that one shows to government officials whenever one reaches a border between two countries, so that the official can learn who you are, where you were born, and how you look when photographed unflatteringly.
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Taking one’s chances is like taking a bath, because sometimes you end up feeling comfortable and warm, and sometimes there is something terrible lurking around that you cannot see until it is too late and you can do nothing else but scream and cling to a plastic duck.
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I’m happier than a pig eating bacon!
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When you need a haircut, it looks like you have no one to take care of you.
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Knowing that something is wrong and doing it anyway happens very often in life, and I doubt I will ever know why.
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Members of your family might say they are working hard all day long, while you are off at school or clarinet lessons, but the only way to know this for sure is to follow them at a discreet distance.
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Fetching objects for people who are too lazy to fetch them for themselves is never a pleasant task, particularly when the people are insulting you.
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who would dare think that, forever? Some idiot girl who wouldn’t know how things played out.
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Wherever it's good, whatever strange, faraway land, let's go there, let's stay in that place alone.
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Anyone who gives you a cinnamon roll fresh out of the oven is a friend for life.
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...the moron who thought love was forever.
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Even the best plans can change if there's an accident.
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