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In this book, not only is there no happy ending, there is no happy beginning and very few happy things in the middle.

Daniel Handler

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Daniel Handler
Age: 54
Born: 1970
Born: February 28
Accordionist
Author
Musician
Novelist
Screenwriter
Songwriter
Writer
San Francisco County
California
Lemony Snicket
Ending
Beginning
Middle
Happy
Book
Things

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There is a pair of snakes who have learned to drive a car so recklessly that they would run you over in the street and never stop to apologize.
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All cannot be lost when there is still so much being found
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I'm not very good at the accordion. If I played guitar, I wouldn't be on anyone's album. But because I play the accordion and no one else does, I end up doing strange things.
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Fetching objects for people who are too lazy to fetch them for themselves is never a pleasant task, particularly when the people are insulting you.
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There are some secrets you want to keep to yourself, even if they don't matter. They might only matter if you keep them secret.
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Anyone who gives you a cinnamon roll fresh out of the oven is a friend for life.
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It was a curious feeling, that something could be so close and so distant at the same time.
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Miracles are like meatballs, because nobody can exactly agree on what they are made of, where they come from, or how often they should appear.
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I know what is going on, said Sir. I am the Boss! Of course I know!
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and what might seem to be a series of unfortunate events may in fact be the first steps of a journey.
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It is always cruel to laugh at people, of course, although sometimes if they are wearing an ugly hat it is hard to control yourself.
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And when love is over when the diner of love seems closed from the outside you want all those hours back along with anything you left at the lover’s house and maybe a couple of things which aren’t technically yours on the grounds that you wasted a portion of your life and those hours have all gone southside.
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The thing you hope will never happen to you might just happen to someone else instead, who has been spending their life dreading the thing that will happen to you.
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I’m happier than a pig eating bacon!
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Never mind what my name is,” the man said. “No one can pronounce it anyway. Just call me Sir.
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E! Klaus cried. E as in Exit! The Baudelaires ran down E as in Exit, but when they reached the last cabinet, the row was becoming F as in Falling File Cabinets, G as in Go the Other Way! and H as in How in the World Are We Going to Escape?
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Why not rise from the grave and terrorize a little instead of staying buried and dead in the cemetery?
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You know I want to be a director, but you could never truly see the movies in my head and that, Ed, is why we broke up.
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For Beatrice- My love for you shall live forever. You, however, did not.
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So every so often, when I meet someone who's honestly appalled by my books and doesn't understand why they would be attractive to people... I find such people sort of charming, even though they usually don't like me.
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