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...that's not why we broke up. I love it, I miss it, I hate to give it back to you, this complicated thing, it's why we stayed together
Daniel Handler
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Daniel Handler
Age: 54
Born: 1970
Born: February 28
Accordionist
Author
Musician
Novelist
Screenwriter
Songwriter
Writer
San Francisco County
California
Lemony Snicket
Give
Together
Back
Stayed
Giving
Broke
Thing
Miss
Love
Complicated
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More quotes by Daniel Handler
This toast feels raw. Is it safe to eat raw toast?
Daniel Handler
If you don’t care about something, one way to demonstrate your feelings is to say the word and then repeat the word with the letters S-C-H-M replacing the first letters. Somebody who didn’t care about dentists, for instance could say ‘Dentist, schmentists.
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We are respecting our parents' wishes....They didn't want to shelter us from the world's treacheries. They wanted us to survive them.
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Strange as it may seem, I still hope for the best, even though the best, like an interesting piece of mail, so rarely arrives, and even when it does it can be lost so easily.
Daniel Handler
A girl meets a boy, Ed, and everything changes, or so she says.
Daniel Handler
When you say, History is written by the winners, you like to think about someone who isn't you. You want to think, Oh, that's the juggernaut I'm standing against. But you're probably part of it.
Daniel Handler
The whole thing of what I’ve been trying,” you said, “is that you’re different, and you keep asking about the other girls, but what I mean is that I don’t think about them, because of the way you are.
Daniel Handler
Fate is like a strange, unpopular restaurant filled with odd little waiters who bring you things you never asked for and don't always like.
Daniel Handler
There is a pair of snakes who have learned to drive a car so recklessly that they would run you over in the street and never stop to apologize.
Daniel Handler
Stretched out in front of me was my time as an adult, and then a skeleton, and then nothing except perhaps a few books on a few shelves.
Daniel Handler
But it's far too late for us ring, hair, letters, photographs - all traces of our love will be scattered then, like an anagram.
Daniel Handler
Nobody wants to hear that you will try your best. It is the wrong thing to say. It is like saying 'I probably won't hit you with a shovel.' Suddenly everyone is afraid you will do the opposite.
Daniel Handler
I think we'll always miss our parents. But I think we can miss them without being miserable all the time. After all, they wouldn't want us to be miserable.
Daniel Handler
Twenty-six,” you said. “One for each day we’ve been together, Min.”Somebody oohed. Somebody shushed them. “And I hope that someday I’ll do another something stupid and I’ll have to say it a million times because that’s how long it’ll be, together with you, Min. With you.
Daniel Handler
I'm not very good at the accordion. If I played guitar, I wouldn't be on anyone's album. But because I play the accordion and no one else does, I end up doing strange things.
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Goodness! Golly! Good God! Blessed Allah! Zeus and Hera! Mary and Joseph! Nathaniel Hawthorne! Don't touch her! Grab her! Move closer! Run away! Don't move! Kill the snake! Leave it alone! Give it some food! Don't let it bite her! Lure the snake away! Here, snakey! Here, snakey snakey!
Daniel Handler
Appearance matters a great deal because you can often tell a lot about people by looking at how they present themselves.
Daniel Handler
I decided that it might be interesting to have terrible things happen to orphans over and over again.
Daniel Handler
Neither were you [born yesterday], unless of course I am wrong, in which case welcome to the world, little baby, and congratulations on learning to read so early in life.
Daniel Handler
It is always cruel to laugh at people, of course, although sometimes if they are wearing an ugly hat it is hard to control yourself.
Daniel Handler
