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...that's not why we broke up. I love it, I miss it, I hate to give it back to you, this complicated thing, it's why we stayed together

Daniel Handler

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Daniel Handler
Age: 54
Born: 1970
Born: February 28
Accordionist
Author
Musician
Novelist
Screenwriter
Songwriter
Writer
San Francisco County
California
Lemony Snicket
Together
Back
Stayed
Giving
Broke
Thing
Miss
Love
Complicated
Missing
Hate
Give

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If he’s not gay and he hung out with you the whole time, he wanted to be. It’s boyfriend or want to be boyfriend or I guess gay. Those are the choices.
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I go to bed early and rise late and feel as if I have hardly slept, probably because I have been reading almost the entire time.
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Death is something you cannot escape, such as death, or a cheesecake that has curdled, both of which always turn up sooner later.
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This feeling is not unlike the sinking in one's stomach when one is in an elevator that suddenly goes down, or when you are snug in your bed and your closet door suddenly creaks open to reveal the person who has been hiding there.
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Siblings that say they never fight are most definitely hiding something
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Wherever it's good, whatever strange, faraway land, let's go there, let's stay in that place alone.
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When I was researching my very first novel, The Basic Eight, I was calling right-wing political and religious organizations and asking them to mail me their material so that I could mock them in my novels.
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The trick to following someone without getting caught is to follow somebody who doesn't think they're being followed.
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A long time ago, there was no such thing as school, and children spent their days learning a trade, a phrase which here means standing around doing tedious tasks under the instruction of a bossy adult. In time, however, people realized that the children could be allowed to sit, and the first school was invented.
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That night it felt that somehow by flicking them off the roof, the matches would burn down everything, the sparks from the tips of the flames, torching the world and all the heartbroken people in it.
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Life never end when you are in it.
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Love can smack you like a seagull, and pour all over your feet like junkmail. You can't be ready for such a thing any more than salt water taffy gets you ready for the ocean.
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Fate is like a strange, unpopular restaurant filled with odd little waiters who bring you things you never asked for and don't always like.
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Are you ready? Klaus asked finally. No, Sunny answered. Me neither, Violet said, but if we wait until we're ready we'll be waiting for the rest of our lives, Let's go.
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We laughed the rest of the way, because the point of this story is, it is not the cookies. It is the love.
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...you know that a good, long session of weeping can often make you feel better, even if your circumstances have not changed one bit.
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Frustration is an interesting emotional state, because it tends to bring out the worst in whoever is frustrated.
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As I am sure you know, when people say 'It's my pleasure,' they usually mean something along the lines of, 'There's nothing on Earth I would rather do less.' [...]
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The thing you hope will never happen to you might just happen to someone else instead, who has been spending their life dreading the thing that will happen to you.
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There are many things in life that become different if you take a long look at them.
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