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We are respecting our parents' wishes....They didn't want to shelter us from the world's treacheries. They wanted us to survive them.

Daniel Handler

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Daniel Handler
Age: 54
Born: 1970
Born: February 28
Accordionist
Author
Musician
Novelist
Screenwriter
Songwriter
Writer
San Francisco County
California
Lemony Snicket
Wanted
Respecting
World
Shelter
Wishes
Survive
Parents
Parent
Wish
Didn
Treachery

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There are two types of panicking: standing still and not saying a word, and leaping all over the place babbling anything that comes into your head.
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The difference between a house and a home is like the difference between a man and a woman-- it might be embarrassing to explain, but it would be very unusual to get them confused.
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In this book, not only is there no happy ending, there is no happy beginning and very few happy things in the middle.
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I know what is going on, said Sir. I am the Boss! Of course I know!
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I stayed there loving you, though the love made me, not sad but I guess melancholy, for a reason I couldn’t point to.
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A long time ago, there was no such thing as school, and children spent their days learning a trade, a phrase which here means standing around doing tedious tasks under the instruction of a bossy adult. In time, however, people realized that the children could be allowed to sit, and the first school was invented.
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Even the best plans can change if there's an accident.
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They were almond cookies, although they could have been made of spinach and shoes for all I cared. I ate eleven of them, right in a row. It is rude to take the last cookie.
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To stutter through it with you or even stop stuttering and say nothing, was so lucky and soft, better talk than mile-a-minute with anyone. After a few minutes we’d stop rattling, we’d adjust, we’d settle in, and the conversation would speed into the night.
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A passport, as I'm sure you know, is a document that one shows to government officials whenever one reaches a border between two countries, so that the official can learn who you are, where you were born, and how you look when photographed unflatteringly.
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...the moron who thought love was forever.
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A bolt from the blue.
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I hadn't even been looking, not for you, and now you were my heart's desire.
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If you are allergic to a thing, it is best not to put that thing in your mouth, particularly if the thing is cats.
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And when love is over when the diner of love seems closed from the outside you want all those hours back along with anything you left at the lover’s house and maybe a couple of things which aren’t technically yours on the grounds that you wasted a portion of your life and those hours have all gone southside.
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It is easy to decide on what is wrong to wear to a party, such as deep-sea diving equipment or a pair of large pillows, but deciding what is right is much trickier.
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Temper tantrums, however fun they may be to throw, rarely solve whatever problem is causing them.
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I will love you as misfortune loves orphans, as fire loves innocence, and as justice loves to sit and watch while everything goes wrong.
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In general, of course, a stranger who tries to get you into an automobile is anything but noble, and in general a person who quotes great American novelists is anything but treacherous, and in general a man who says you needn't worry about money, or a man who smokes cigarettes, is somewhere in between.
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I was stupid, the official descriptive phrase for happy.
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