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We are respecting our parents' wishes....They didn't want to shelter us from the world's treacheries. They wanted us to survive them.

Daniel Handler

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Daniel Handler
Age: 54
Born: 1970
Born: February 28
Accordionist
Author
Musician
Novelist
Screenwriter
Songwriter
Writer
San Francisco County
California
Lemony Snicket
Wish
Didn
Treachery
Wanted
Respecting
World
Shelter
Wishes
Survive
Parents
Parent

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This is my knife. It is very sharp and very eager to hurt you.
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Well-read people are less likely to be evil.
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If you have ever slept in a covered casserole dish on the highest peak of a mountain range, then you know that it is an uncomfortable place to lay one's head, even if you find a dish towel inside it that can serve as a blanket.
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Just about everybody has written a first novel that they throw away before writing their actual first novel.
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Nobody wants to fall into a safety net, because it means the structure in which they've been living is in a state of collapse and they have no choice but to tumble downwards. However, it beats the alternative.
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Never, under any circumstances, let the Virginian wolfsnake near a typewriter.
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I gasped and pointed the way. I gave you an adventure, Ed, right in front of you but you never saw it until I showed you, and that's why we broke up.
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You may be right,' she said, a phrase which here meant 'I’m wrong, but I don’t have the courage to say so.
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Composer” is a word which here means “a person who sits in a room, muttering and humming and figuring out what notes the orchestra is going to play.” This is called composing. But last night, the Composer was not muttering. He was not humming. He was not moving, or even breathing. This is called decomposing.
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It is not very polite to interrupt a person, of course, but sometimes if the person is very unpleasant you can hardly stop yourself.
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You might be afraid of the dark, but the dark is not afraid of you. That’s why the dark is always close by.
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It was a curious feeling, that something could be so close and so distant at the same time.
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Wherever it's good, whatever strange, faraway land, let's go there, let's stay in that place alone.
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So she loved him. She just did immediately and again often and clearly naturally and soundly and obviously and many others.
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There are two good reasons to put your napkin in your lap. One is that food might spill in your lap, and it is better to stain the napkin than your clothing. The other is that it can serve as a perfect hiding place. Practically nobody is nosey enough to take the napkin off a lap to see what is hidden there.
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The idea that the curtain rises on what is often more or less a happy scene, and it will fall just a few hours later, and everyone will be dead or have gone mad... I find that kind of narrative very appealing.
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Fetching objects for people who are too lazy to fetch them for themselves is never a pleasant task, particularly when the people are insulting you.
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Everyone on earth would never starve and forever find love and happiness, since we won, but if we’d lost, they would have gouged out our eyes and thrown us naked onto hot coals and poisonous snakes for all the cheering and hugging at the end, strangers hugging like the end of The Omega Virus when Steve Sturmine finds the antidote.
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The sad truth is the truth is sad.
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