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We are respecting our parents' wishes....They didn't want to shelter us from the world's treacheries. They wanted us to survive them.

Daniel Handler

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Daniel Handler
Age: 54
Born: 1970
Born: February 28
Accordionist
Author
Musician
Novelist
Screenwriter
Songwriter
Writer
San Francisco County
California
Lemony Snicket
Parents
Parent
Wish
Didn
Treachery
Wanted
Respecting
World
Shelter
Wishes
Survive

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This is an absurd moral, for you and I both know that sometimes not only is it good to lie, it is necessary to lie.
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For Beatrice - you will always be in my mind, in my heart and in your grave.
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Sometime during your life—in fact, very soon—you may find yourself reading a book, and you may notice that a book’s first sentence can often tell you what sort of story your book contains.
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Just about everybody has written a first novel that they throw away before writing their actual first novel.
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There is only laughing across the land as the car moves you along, on your way someplace with love in the car.
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The sea is nothing but a library of all the tears in history.
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The trick to following someone without getting caught is to follow somebody who doesn't think they're being followed.
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Appearance matters a great deal because you can often tell a lot about people by looking at how they present themselves.
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I found powerful the idea that everything we have is, in effect, stolen from everybody else.
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Most schools have a loud system of loud bells, which startle the students and teachers at regular intervals and remind them that time is passing even more slowly than it seems.
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So every so often, when I meet someone who's honestly appalled by my books and doesn't understand why they would be attractive to people... I find such people sort of charming, even though they usually don't like me.
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Having a personal philosophy is like having a pet marmoset, because it may be very attractive when you acquire it, but there may be situations when it will not come in handy at all.
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If you are allergic to a thing, it is best not to put that thing in your mouth, particularly if the thing is cats.
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Assumptions are dangerous things to make, and like all dangerous things to make - bombs, for instance, or strawberry shortcake - if you make even the tiniest mistake you can find yourself in terrible trouble.
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If writers wrote as carelessly as some people talk, then adhasdh asdglaseuyt[bn[ pasdlgkhasdfasdf.
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You should never stick something that you are allergic to into your mouth, especially if that thing is cats.
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Anyone who gives you a cinnamon roll fresh out of the oven is a friend for life.
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This is like a cookie, it tastes like a cookie having sex with a doughnut.
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People worry more about girls, for a good reason: I don't think my parents thought I was going to be raped by a classmate or attacked when I was walking alone in some neighborhood. So it's not just paranoid parents.
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It is very difficult to make one's way in this world without being wicked at one time or another, when the world's way is so wicked to being with.
Daniel Handler