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Sometimes, even the best of plans will occur to you when it is too late.

Daniel Handler

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Daniel Handler
Age: 54
Born: 1970
Born: February 28
Accordionist
Author
Musician
Novelist
Screenwriter
Songwriter
Writer
San Francisco County
California
Lemony Snicket
Occur
Plans
Late
Best
Sometimes
Even

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I will love you as the iceberg loves the ship, and the passengers love the lifeboat and the lifeboat loves the teeth of the sperm whale, and the sperm whale loves the flavor of naval uniforms.
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With a library it is easier to hope for serendipity than to look for a precise answer.
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I stand entwined in fire on the inextinguishable bonfire of inconceivable love.
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I love no one but you, I have discovered, but you are far away and I am here alone. Then this is my life and maybe, however unlikely, I'll find my way back there. Or maybe, one day, I'll settle for second best. And on that same day, hell will freeze over, the sun will burn out and the stars will fall from the sky.
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In love, as in life, one misheard word can be tremendously important. If you tell someone you love them, for instance, you must be absolutely certain that they have replied I love you back and not I love your back before you continue the conversation.
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It is very easy to say that the important thing is to try your best, but if you are in real trouble the most important thing is not trying your best, but getting to safety.
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The difference between a house and a home is like the difference between a man and a woman-- it might be embarrassing to explain, but it would be very unusual to get them confused.
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When I was researching my very first novel, The Basic Eight, I was calling right-wing political and religious organizations and asking them to mail me their material so that I could mock them in my novels.
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Keep anyone with whom you can read in silence.
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Adverbs is a book about love, and I thought that was pretty cheerful, but people who are reading it now are telling me that it's actually quite dark.
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No matter who you are, no matter where you live, and no matter how many people are chasing you, what you don't read is often as important as what you do read.
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The Long Goodbye' is one book I like to read over and over again, and it was an enormous inspiration for 'All The Wrong Questions'.
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All his life, Klaus had believed that if you read enough books, you could solve any problem, but now he wasn't so sure.
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A girl meets a boy, Ed, and everything changes, or so she says.
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Your initial opinion on just about anything may change over time.
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Lately it has become more and more difficult to attend dinner parties without the evening ending in gunfire or tapioca.
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The file clanked against me, my stupid idea nobody would have gotten had I ever done it. You even wouldn't have gotten it, Ed, I thought, watching her go. It's why we broke up, so here it is. Ed, how could you?
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For Beatrice - you will always be in my mind, in my heart and in your grave.
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It is not always the job of people shouting outside impressive buildings to solve problems. It is often the job of the people inside, who have paper, pens, desks, and an impressive view.
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-Most people would say that she's beautiful. -That's because she's been with most people.
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