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Sometimes, even the best of plans will occur to you when it is too late.

Daniel Handler

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Daniel Handler
Age: 54
Born: 1970
Born: February 28
Accordionist
Author
Musician
Novelist
Screenwriter
Songwriter
Writer
San Francisco County
California
Lemony Snicket
Best
Sometimes
Even
Occur
Plans
Late

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I will love you as misfortune loves orphans, as fire loves innocence, and as justice loves to sit and watch while everything goes wrong.
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The idea that the curtain rises on what is often more or less a happy scene, and it will fall just a few hours later, and everyone will be dead or have gone mad... I find that kind of narrative very appealing.
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And then like a song we'd forgotten was even on the mix, you stepped into the house and my whole life.
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It is not very polite to interrupt a person, of course, but sometimes if the person is very unpleasant you can hardly stop yourself.
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When you start reading nonfiction books about piracy, you realize that it's actually just a history of desperate people.
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This feeling is not unlike the sinking in one's stomach when one is in an elevator that suddenly goes down, or when you are snug in your bed and your closet door suddenly creaks open to reveal the person who has been hiding there.
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A bolt from the blue.
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You can't believe everything you read.
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There is only laughing across the land as the car moves you along, on your way someplace with love in the car.
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If you wish to avoid an unpleasant story you had best put this book down
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Taking one’s chances is like taking a bath, because sometimes you end up feeling comfortable and warm, and sometimes there is something terrible lurking around that you cannot see until it is too late and you can do nothing else but scream and cling to a plastic duck.
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This is my knife. It is very sharp and very eager to hurt you.
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Here we are at the bottom, almost empty. It's like confetti, these dried remnants you find in the street for a party no one invited you to. But they used to be, I can admit, part of something beautiful.
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Just about everybody has written a first novel that they throw away before writing their actual first novel.
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The thing with your heart's desire is that your heart doesn't even know what it desires until it turns up.
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Certain people have said that the world is like a calm pond, and that anytime a person does even the smallest thing, it is as if a stone has dropped into the pond, spreading circles of ripples further and further out, until the entire world has been changed by one tiny action.
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It was a secret time and place, you next to me, untraceable and out of this world
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Composer” is a word which here means “a person who sits in a room, muttering and humming and figuring out what notes the orchestra is going to play.” This is called composing. But last night, the Composer was not muttering. He was not humming. He was not moving, or even breathing. This is called decomposing.
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We are a nation of children letting horrible things happen, and flunking Calc.
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Either you have the feeling or you don't. Hawk Davies
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