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Even the best plans can change if there's an accident.

Daniel Handler

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Daniel Handler
Age: 54
Born: 1970
Born: February 28
Accordionist
Author
Musician
Novelist
Screenwriter
Songwriter
Writer
San Francisco County
California
Lemony Snicket
Accident
Accidents
Plans
Change
Best
Even

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It is terribly rude to tell people that their troubles are boring.
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This toast feels raw. Is it safe to eat raw toast?
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Don’t repeat yourself. It’s not only repetitive, it’s redundant, and people have heard it before.
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There was still plenty of water in the basement, and I felt it soaking me from the knees on down. If someone wanted to torture me until I told them a critical piece of information, all they would have to do is get my socks wet. It feels terrible.
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It is easy to decide on what is wrong to wear to a party, such as deep-sea diving equipment or a pair of large pillows, but deciding what is right is much trickier.
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If everyone fought fire with fire, the whole world would go up in smoke.
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It is useless for me to describe to you how terrible Violet, Klaus, and even Sunny felt in the time that followed. If you have ever lost someone very important to you, then you already know how it feels, and if you haven't, you cannot possibly imagine it.
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After a certain age, you couldn't even say where you were from. You went someplace, and lived there. And then you went someplace else.
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I’m happier than a pig eating bacon!
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Shyness is a curious thing, because, like quicksand, it can strike people at any time, and also, like quicksand, it usually makes its victims look down.
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The key to good eavesdropping is not getting caught.
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We are all told to ignore bullies. It's something they teach you, and they can teach you anything. It doesn't mean you learn it. It doesn't mean you believe it. One should never ignore bullies. One should stop them.
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Life never end when you are in it.
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People don't always get what they deserve in this world.
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Twenty-six,” you said. “One for each day we’ve been together, Min.”Somebody oohed. Somebody shushed them. “And I hope that someday I’ll do another something stupid and I’ll have to say it a million times because that’s how long it’ll be, together with you, Min. With you.
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It is almost as if happiness is an acquired taste, like coconut cordial or ceviche, to which you can eventually become accustomed, but despair is something surprising each time you encounter it.
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I started making plans, thinking we would get that far.
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I hadn't even been looking, not for you, and now you were my heart's desire.
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It looked exhausting and pointless, two things that should be avoided at all costs
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Every last souvenir of the love we had, the prizes & the debris of this relationship, like the glitter in the gutter when the parade has passed, all the everything & whatnot kicked to the curb.
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