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...the moron who thought love was forever.

Daniel Handler

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Daniel Handler
Age: 54
Born: 1970
Born: February 28
Accordionist
Author
Musician
Novelist
Screenwriter
Songwriter
Writer
San Francisco County
California
Lemony Snicket
Moron
Forever
Thought
Love

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A successful villain should have all these things at his or her villainous fingertips, or else give up villainy altogether and try to lead a life of decency, integrity, and kindness, which is much more challenging and noble, if not always quite as exciting.
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This is love, to sit with someone you've known forever in a place you've been meaning to go, and watching as their life happens to them until you stand up and it's time to go.
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Hal is on his way. The nurse announced reentering the room.
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Appearance matters a great deal because you can often tell a lot about people by looking at how they present themselves.
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It is very difficult to make one's way in this world without being wicked at one time or another, when the world's way is so wicked to being with.
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There are few sights sadder than a ruined book.
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There is a pair of snakes who have learned to drive a car so recklessly that they would run you over in the street and never stop to apologize.
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How did you do that?” Mr. Poe asked. “Nice girls shouldn’t know how to do such things.” “My sister is a nice girl,” Klaus said, “and she knows how to do all sorts of things.
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It is almost as if happiness is an acquired taste, like coconut cordial or ceviche, to which you can eventually become accustomed, but despair is something surprising each time you encounter it.
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Taking one’s chances is like taking a bath, because sometimes you end up feeling comfortable and warm, and sometimes there is something terrible lurking around that you cannot see until it is too late and you can do nothing else but scream and cling to a plastic duck.
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Goodness! Golly! Good God! Blessed Allah! Zeus and Hera! Mary and Joseph! Nathaniel Hawthorne! Don't touch her! Grab her! Move closer! Run away! Don't move! Kill the snake! Leave it alone! Give it some food! Don't let it bite her! Lure the snake away! Here, snakey! Here, snakey snakey!
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Your initial opinion on just about anything may change over time.
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Even the best plans can change if there's an accident.
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I will love you as misfortune loves orphans, as fire loves innocence, and as justice loves to sit and watch while everything goes wrong.
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The end of 'The End' is the best place to begin 'The End', because if you read 'The End' from the beginning of the beginning of 'The End' to the end of the end of 'The End', you will arrive at the end.
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Any playlist without Prince is no friend of mine.
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Grief, a type of sadness that most often occurs when you have lost someone you love, is a sneaky thing, because it can disappear for a long time, and then pop back up when you least expect it.
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One of the world's most tiresome questions is what object one would bring to a desert island,because people always answer a deck of cards or Anna Karenina when the obvious answer is a well equipped boat and a crew to sail me off the island and back home where I can play all the card games and read all the Russian novels I want.
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If only Uncle Monty knew what we know, Violet said, and Stephano knew that he knew what we know. But Uncle Monty doesn't know what we know, and Stephano knows that he doesn't know what we know. I know, Klause said. I know you know, Violet said
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Don’t repeat yourself. It’s not only repetitive, it’s redundant, and people have heard it before.
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