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...the moron who thought love was forever.

Daniel Handler

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Daniel Handler
Age: 54
Born: 1970
Born: February 28
Accordionist
Author
Musician
Novelist
Screenwriter
Songwriter
Writer
San Francisco County
California
Lemony Snicket
Thought
Love
Moron
Forever

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Of course I'm trying to trick you! That's the way of the world, Baudelaires. Everyone runs around with their secrets and their schemes, trying to outwit everyone else.
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I will love you as misfortune loves orphans, as fire loves innocence, and as justice loves to sit and watch while everything goes wrong.
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Even the best plans can change if there's an accident.
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The trick to following someone without getting caught is to follow somebody who doesn't think they're being followed.
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In love, as in life, one misheard word can be tremendously important. If you tell someone you love them, for instance, you must be absolutely certain that they have replied I love you back and not I love your back before you continue the conversation.
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You would run much slower if you were dragging something behind you, like a knapsack or a sheriff.
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I want to love you and take you pretty places. Yes, I have things wrong, but also I can walk through walls if you'll let me show you.
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For every teenager I know, having a phone is a mixed blessing, because your parents can press a button and figure out where you are.
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If you have ever slept in a covered casserole dish on the highest peak of a mountain range, then you know that it is an uncomfortable place to lay one's head, even if you find a dish towel inside it that can serve as a blanket.
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Everyone tells you it's all right to cry, but not enough people say it's all right if you don't want people to know.
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Composer” is a word which here means “a person who sits in a room, muttering and humming and figuring out what notes the orchestra is going to play.” This is called composing. But last night, the Composer was not muttering. He was not humming. He was not moving, or even breathing. This is called decomposing.
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For Beatrice- My love for you shall live forever. You, however, did not.
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It looked exhausting and pointless, two things that should be avoided at all costs
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Strange as it may seem, I still hope for the best, even though the best, like an interesting piece of mail, so rarely arrives, and even when it does it can be lost so easily.
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Siblings that say they never fight are most definitely hiding something
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Like a church bell, a coffin, and a vat of melted chocolate, a supply closet is rarely a comfortable place to hide.
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And then of course the music sprang up, lousy rock as bold and dull as a giant potato. Love this song, Todd said, like it was unusually brave to like what was number one on the radio.
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If you enjoy books with happy endings than you are better off reading some other book.
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Never mind what my name is,” the man said. “No one can pronounce it anyway. Just call me Sir.
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