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...the moron who thought love was forever.

Daniel Handler

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Daniel Handler
Age: 54
Born: 1970
Born: February 28
Accordionist
Author
Musician
Novelist
Screenwriter
Songwriter
Writer
San Francisco County
California
Lemony Snicket
Thought
Love
Moron
Forever

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It was a curious feeling, that something could be so close and so distant at the same time.
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Is it fair for the bears to come down to where humans live, looking for food? Is it fair for the Duke's soldiers to shoot at them? Is it fair for the bears to crush them with giant snowballs? Often, if you point out something that isn't fair, someone will reply, Life isn't fair. What is to be done with such people?
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You should never stick something that you are allergic to into your mouth, especially if that thing is cats.
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We are a nation of children letting horrible things happen, and flunking Calc.
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When you need a haircut, it looks like you have no one to take care of you.
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There is no easy way to train an apprentice. My two tools are example and nagging.
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Love can smack you like a seagull, and pour all over your feet like junkmail. You can't be ready for such a thing any more than salt water taffy gets you ready for the ocean.
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And then of course the music sprang up, lousy rock as bold and dull as a giant potato. Love this song, Todd said, like it was unusually brave to like what was number one on the radio.
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It is very frustrating not to be understood in this world. If you say one thing and keep being told that you mean something else, it can make you want to scream. But somewhere in the world there is a place for all of us, whether you are an electric form of decoration, peppermint-scented sweet, a source of timber, or a potato pancake.
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