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I’m not a cuckoo, either. I’m a fool is what.

Daniel Handler

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Daniel Handler
Age: 54
Born: 1970
Born: February 28
Accordionist
Author
Musician
Novelist
Screenwriter
Songwriter
Writer
San Francisco County
California
Lemony Snicket
Cuckoo
Cuckoos
Fool
Either

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Appearance matters a great deal because you can often tell a lot about people by looking at how they present themselves.
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I write storys to entertain not to be the best
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How did you do that?” Mr. Poe asked. “Nice girls shouldn’t know how to do such things.” “My sister is a nice girl,” Klaus said, “and she knows how to do all sorts of things.
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The way that the stories go in the Snicket books is just the way stories naturally go to me. They're full of misery, and yet the misery ends up being slightly hilarious. And in terms of the warnings on the back of the books, that really started as an honest assessment of their marketability.
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How can someone so wonderful do something so terrible?
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Anyone who thinks the pen is mightier than the sword has not been stabbed with both.
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When do you learn that the world, like any diner worth its salt, is open twenty-four hours a day?
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I do what I do, I said, in order to do something else.
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If you enjoy books with happy endings than you are better off reading some other book.
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There was still plenty of water in the basement, and I felt it soaking me from the knees on down. If someone wanted to torture me until I told them a critical piece of information, all they would have to do is get my socks wet. It feels terrible.
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Composer” is a word which here means “a person who sits in a room, muttering and humming and figuring out what notes the orchestra is going to play.” This is called composing. But last night, the Composer was not muttering. He was not humming. He was not moving, or even breathing. This is called decomposing.
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When you start reading nonfiction books about piracy, you realize that it's actually just a history of desperate people.
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In times of extreme stress, one can often find energy hidden in even the most exhausted areas of the body.
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You would run much slower if you were dragging something behind you, like a knapsack or a sheriff.
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Hal is on his way. The nurse announced reentering the room.
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It has been said that the hardest job in the world is raising a child, but the people who says this have probably never worked at a comb factory or captured pirates on the high seas.
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For Beatrice- When we were together I felt breathless. Now you are.
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For obvious reasons, I never told you about my notebook, with a cover as green as mansions long ago, which I use as a commonplace book, a phrase which here means 'place where I have collected passages from some of the most important books I have read.
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Death is something you cannot escape, such as death, or a cheesecake that has curdled, both of which always turn up sooner later.
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