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Dumping you times infinity. Still not enough.
Daniel Handler
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Daniel Handler
Age: 54
Born: 1970
Born: February 28
Accordionist
Author
Musician
Novelist
Screenwriter
Songwriter
Writer
San Francisco County
California
Lemony Snicket
Stills
Still
Enough
Dumping
Infinity
Times
More quotes by Daniel Handler
My chauffer once told me that I would feel better in the morning, but when I woke up the two of us were still on a tiny island surrounded by man-eating crocodiles, and, as I'm sure you can understand, I didn't feel any better about it.
Daniel Handler
Put your hair up, Min. The secret ingredient is not your hair.
Daniel Handler
It was darker than a pitch-black panther, covered in tar, eating black licorice at the very bottom of the deepest part of the Black Sea.
Daniel Handler
Count Olaf sounds like an awful person. I hope he is torn apart by wild animals someday. Wouldn't that be satisfying?
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They say in every library there is a single book that can answer the question that burns like a fire in the mind.
Daniel Handler
How did you do that?” Mr. Poe asked. “Nice girls shouldn’t know how to do such things.” “My sister is a nice girl,” Klaus said, “and she knows how to do all sorts of things.
Daniel Handler
When you need a haircut, it looks like you have no one to take care of you.
Daniel Handler
Anyone who gives you a cinnamon roll fresh out of the oven is a friend for life.
Daniel Handler
Like a church bell, a coffin, and a vat of melted chocolate, a supply closet is rarely a comfortable place to hide.
Daniel Handler
Chestnuts in stuffing tastes like someone chewed up a tree branch and then French-kissed it into your mouth.
Daniel Handler
When do you learn that the world, like any diner worth its salt, is open twenty-four hours a day?
Daniel Handler
I love no one but you, I have discovered, but you are far away and I am here alone. Then this is my life and maybe, however unlikely, I'll find my way back there. Or maybe, one day, I'll settle for second best. And on that same day, hell will freeze over, the sun will burn out and the stars will fall from the sky.
Daniel Handler
Death is something you cannot escape, such as death, or a cheesecake that has curdled, both of which always turn up sooner later.
Daniel Handler
I like to think that I get better and better as a writer, but it seems pretty easy to me to slip on disguises of various people.
Daniel Handler
Either you have the feeling or you don't. Hawk Davies
Daniel Handler
It has been said that the hardest job in the world is raising a child, but the people who says this have probably never worked at a comb factory or captured pirates on the high seas.
Daniel Handler
Twenty-six,” you said. “One for each day we’ve been together, Min.”Somebody oohed. Somebody shushed them. “And I hope that someday I’ll do another something stupid and I’ll have to say it a million times because that’s how long it’ll be, together with you, Min. With you.
Daniel Handler
Xenial' is a word which refers to the giving of gifts to strangers. . . . I know that having a good vocabulary doesn't guarantee that I'm a good person. . . . But it does mean I've read a great deal. And in my experience, well-read people are less likely to be evil.
Daniel Handler
Unless you have been very, very lucky, you have undoubtedly experienced events in your life that have made you cry. So unless you have been very, very lucky, you know that a good, long session of weeping can often make you feel better, even if your circumstances have not changed one bit.
Daniel Handler
Everyone should be able to do one card trick, tell two jokes, and recite three poems, in case they are ever trapped in an elevator.
Daniel Handler
