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Dumping you times infinity. Still not enough.

Daniel Handler

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Daniel Handler
Age: 54
Born: 1970
Born: February 28
Accordionist
Author
Musician
Novelist
Screenwriter
Songwriter
Writer
San Francisco County
California
Lemony Snicket
Still
Enough
Dumping
Infinity
Times
Stills

More quotes by Daniel Handler

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It was a curious feeling, that something could be so close and so distant at the same time.
Daniel Handler
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One can remain alive long past the usual date of disintegration if one is unafraid of change, insatiable in intellectual curiosity, interested in big things, and happy in small ways.
Daniel Handler
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Neither were you [born yesterday], unless of course I am wrong, in which case welcome to the world, little baby, and congratulations on learning to read so early in life.
Daniel Handler
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I love no one but you, I have discovered, but you are far away and I am here alone. Then this is my life and maybe, however unlikely, I'll find my way back there. Or maybe, one day, I'll settle for second best. And on that same day, hell will freeze over, the sun will burn out and the stars will fall from the sky.
Daniel Handler
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The story of the Baudelaires takes place in a very real world, where some people are laughed at just because they have something wrong with them, and where children can find themselves all alone in the world, struggling to understand the mystery that surrounds them.
Daniel Handler
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Just because something is typed-whether it is typed on a business card or typed in a newspaper or book-this does not mean that it is true.
Daniel Handler
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A passport, as I'm sure you know, is a document that one shows to government officials whenever one reaches a border between two countries, so that the official can learn who you are, where you were born, and how you look when photographed unflatteringly.
Daniel Handler
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A long time ago, there was no such thing as school, and children spent their days learning a trade, a phrase which here means standing around doing tedious tasks under the instruction of a bossy adult. In time, however, people realized that the children could be allowed to sit, and the first school was invented.
Daniel Handler
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E! Klaus cried. E as in Exit! The Baudelaires ran down E as in Exit, but when they reached the last cabinet, the row was becoming F as in Falling File Cabinets, G as in Go the Other Way! and H as in How in the World Are We Going to Escape?
Daniel Handler
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I’m reminded of a book my father used to read me,” she said. “A bunch of elves and things get into a huge war over a piece of jewelry that everybody wants but nobody can wear.
Daniel Handler
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Can't we sleep ten minutes more? I was having a lovely dream about sneezing without covering my mouth, and giving everybody germs.
Daniel Handler
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Tell me what it is, or prepare to eat harpoon.
Daniel Handler
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Deciding whether or not to trust a person is like deciding whether or not to climb a tree, because you might get a wonderful view from the highest branch, or you might simply get covered in sap, and for this reason many people choose to spend their time alone and indoors, where it is harder to get a splinter.
Daniel Handler
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It is very difficult to make one's way in this world without being wicked at one time or another, when the world's way is so wicked to being with.
Daniel Handler
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The trick to following someone without getting caught is to follow somebody who doesn't think they're being followed.
Daniel Handler
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Santa Claus has nothing to do with it, the latke said. Christmas and Hanukah are completely different things. But different things can often blend together, said the pine tree. Let me tell you a funny story about pagan rituals.
Daniel Handler
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Never mind what my name is,” the man said. “No one can pronounce it anyway. Just call me Sir.
Daniel Handler
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Miracles are like meatballs, because nobody can exactly agree on what they are made of, where they come from, or how often they should appear.
Daniel Handler
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Any playlist without Prince is no friend of mine.
Daniel Handler
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I found powerful the idea that everything we have is, in effect, stolen from everybody else.
Daniel Handler