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I will love you as misfortune loves orphans, as fire loves innocence, and as justice loves to sit and watch while everything goes wrong.
Daniel Handler
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Daniel Handler
Age: 54
Born: 1970
Born: February 28
Accordionist
Author
Musician
Novelist
Screenwriter
Songwriter
Writer
San Francisco County
California
Lemony Snicket
Fire
Orphan
Justice
Misfortune
Wrong
Misfortunes
Everything
Innocence
Love
Loves
Watches
Watch
Goes
Orphans
More quotes by Daniel Handler
...you know that a good, long session of weeping can often make you feel better, even if your circumstances have not changed one bit.
Daniel Handler
Perhaps if we saw what was ahead of us, and glimpsed the follies, and misfortunes that would befall us later on, we would all stay in our mother's wombs, and then there would be nobody in the world but a great number of very fat, very irritated women.
Daniel Handler
If you have ever slept in a covered casserole dish on the highest peak of a mountain range, then you know that it is an uncomfortable place to lay one's head, even if you find a dish towel inside it that can serve as a blanket.
Daniel Handler
There are few sights sadder than a ruined book.
Daniel Handler
Sometimes, even the best of plans will occur to you when it is too late.
Daniel Handler
I decided that it might be interesting to have terrible things happen to orphans over and over again.
Daniel Handler
It was a secret time and place, you next to me, untraceable and out of this world
Daniel Handler
It has been said that the hardest job in the world is raising a child, but the people who says this have probably never worked at a comb factory or captured pirates on the high seas.
Daniel Handler
They say love's like a bus, and if you wait long enough another one will come along, but not in this place where the buses are slow and most of the cute ones are gay.
Daniel Handler
They didn't understand it, but like so many unfortunate events in life, just because you don't understand it doesn't mean it isn't so.
Daniel Handler
Arguing with somebody is never pleasant, but sometimes it is useful and necessary to do so.
Daniel Handler
This is love if it's not with you, a terrible fiery something that makes people look away, and it feels like a punch in the throat.
Daniel Handler
This is my knife. It is very sharp and very eager to hurt you.
Daniel Handler
No matter who you are, no matter where you live, and no matter how many people are chasing you, what you don't read is often as important as what you do read.
Daniel Handler
For obvious reasons, I never told you about my notebook, with a cover as green as mansions long ago, which I use as a commonplace book, a phrase which here means 'place where I have collected passages from some of the most important books I have read.
Daniel Handler
Taking one’s chances is like taking a bath, because sometimes you end up feeling comfortable and warm, and sometimes there is something terrible lurking around that you cannot see until it is too late and you can do nothing else but scream and cling to a plastic duck.
Daniel Handler
I will love you as the iceberg loves the ship, and the passengers love the lifeboat and the lifeboat loves the teeth of the sperm whale, and the sperm whale loves the flavor of naval uniforms.
Daniel Handler
The way sadness works is one of the strangest riddles of the world.
Daniel Handler
The way that the stories go in the Snicket books is just the way stories naturally go to me. They're full of misery, and yet the misery ends up being slightly hilarious. And in terms of the warnings on the back of the books, that really started as an honest assessment of their marketability.
Daniel Handler
For some stories, it's easy. The moral of 'The Three Bears,' for instance, is Never break into someone else's house.' The moral of 'Snow White' is 'Never eat apples.' The moral of World War I is 'Never assassinate Archduke Ferdinand.
Daniel Handler
