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I will love you as misfortune loves orphans, as fire loves innocence, and as justice loves to sit and watch while everything goes wrong.
Daniel Handler
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Daniel Handler
Age: 54
Born: 1970
Born: February 28
Accordionist
Author
Musician
Novelist
Screenwriter
Songwriter
Writer
San Francisco County
California
Lemony Snicket
Watch
Goes
Orphans
Fire
Orphan
Justice
Misfortune
Wrong
Misfortunes
Everything
Innocence
Love
Loves
Watches
More quotes by Daniel Handler
Keep anyone with whom you can read in silence.
Daniel Handler
Any playlist without Prince is no friend of mine.
Daniel Handler
A successful villain should have all these things at his or her villainous fingertips, or else give up villainy altogether and try to lead a life of decency, integrity, and kindness, which is much more challenging and noble, if not always quite as exciting.
Daniel Handler
Like a church bell, a coffin, and a vat of melted chocolate, a supply closet is rarely a comfortable place to hide.
Daniel Handler
One wanders through life as if wandering through a field in the dark of night, wearing a blindfold and very heavy shoes, with a poisonous toad waiting patiently beneath a clump of weeds, knowing full well that eventually you will step on him.
Daniel Handler
It looked exhausting and pointless, two things that should be avoided at all costs
Daniel Handler
Like a lot of people whose children were small in the 2000s, I read [Daniel Handler] books out loud and I loved them.
Daniel Handler
It is my fate that some of my questions will never be answered.
Daniel Handler
Tell me what it is, or prepare to eat harpoon.
Daniel Handler
This is my knife. It is very sharp and very eager to hurt you.
Daniel Handler
The idea that the curtain rises on what is often more or less a happy scene, and it will fall just a few hours later, and everyone will be dead or have gone mad... I find that kind of narrative very appealing.
Daniel Handler
Or why you are wearing a picture of Santa Clause on you shirts, but-” “It’s Herman Melville.
Daniel Handler
With the publishing of The Basic Eight, it was often assumed that I was really immature and callow, and with the publishing of Watch Your Mouth, it was assumed that I was oversexualized, and with Lemony Snicket, it's often assumed that I'm erudite and depressed. But all the voices more or less came naturally to me.
Daniel Handler
There are two good reasons to put your napkin in your lap. One is that food might spill in your lap, and it is better to stain the napkin than your clothing. The other is that it can serve as a perfect hiding place. Practically nobody is nosey enough to take the napkin off a lap to see what is hidden there.
Daniel Handler
Put your hair up, Min. The secret ingredient is not your hair.
Daniel Handler
This feeling is not unlike the sinking in one's stomach when one is in an elevator that suddenly goes down, or when you are snug in your bed and your closet door suddenly creaks open to reveal the person who has been hiding there.
Daniel Handler
There is no worse sound in the world than someone who cannot play the violin but insists on doing so anyway.
Daniel Handler
Everyone should be able to do one card trick, tell two jokes, and recite three poems, in case they are ever trapped in an elevator.
Daniel Handler
This is love, to sit with someone you've known forever in a place you've been meaning to go, and watching as their life happens to them until you stand up and it's time to go.
Daniel Handler
You might be afraid of the dark, but the dark is not afraid of you. That’s why the dark is always close by.
Daniel Handler
