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If everyone fought fire with fire, the whole world would go up in smoke.

Daniel Handler

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Daniel Handler
Age: 54
Born: 1970
Born: February 28
Accordionist
Author
Musician
Novelist
Screenwriter
Songwriter
Writer
San Francisco County
California
Lemony Snicket
Would
World
Fought
Smoke
Fire
Everyone
Whole

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Someone can break your heart, leave you dead on the lawn, and still you never learn what to say to stop it all over again.
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All his life, Klaus had believed that if you read enough books, you could solve any problem, but now he wasn't so sure.
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I was stupid, the official descriptive phrase for happy.
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Fetching objects for people who are too lazy to fetch them for themselves is never a pleasant task, particularly when the people are insulting you.
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Assumptions are dangerous things to make, and like all dangerous things to make - bombs, for instance, or strawberry shortcake - if you make even the tiniest mistake you can find yourself in terrible trouble.
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There are two types of panicking: standing still and not saying a word, and leaping all over the place babbling anything that comes into your head.
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I think if I were walking someplace and I saw a corpse my brain would tell me it was a million things before I believed it was a corpse.
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Everyone tells you it's all right to cry, but not enough people say it's all right if you don't want people to know.
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Is it fair for the bears to come down to where humans live, looking for food? Is it fair for the Duke's soldiers to shoot at them? Is it fair for the bears to crush them with giant snowballs? Often, if you point out something that isn't fair, someone will reply, Life isn't fair. What is to be done with such people?
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Figuratively, they escaped from Cout Olaf and their miserable existence. They did not literally escape, because they were still in his house and vulnerable to Olaf's evil in loco parentis ways.
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Can't we sleep ten minutes more? I was having a lovely dream about sneezing without covering my mouth, and giving everybody germs.
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With the publishing of The Basic Eight, it was often assumed that I was really immature and callow, and with the publishing of Watch Your Mouth, it was assumed that I was oversexualized, and with Lemony Snicket, it's often assumed that I'm erudite and depressed. But all the voices more or less came naturally to me.
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I can't imagine why you would want to take your child to see what the career of a writer is like, because it mostly consists of sitting in a room typing, or going to the library and looking something up. Those are not exciting things to watch.
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I’m happier than a pig eating bacon!
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Tell me what it is, or prepare to eat harpoon.
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Never trust anyone who has not brought a book with them.
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I stand entwined in fire on the inextinguishable bonfire of inconceivable love.
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Hup hup ha ha hammy hee hee!
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Even the best plans can change if there's an accident.
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No matter who you are, no matter where you live, and no matter how many people are chasing you, what you don't read is often as important as what you do read.
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