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You know I want to be a director, but you could never truly see the movies in my head and that, Ed, is why we broke up.

Daniel Handler

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Daniel Handler
Age: 54
Born: 1970
Born: February 28
Accordionist
Author
Musician
Novelist
Screenwriter
Songwriter
Writer
San Francisco County
California
Lemony Snicket
Never
Broke
Director
Directors
Truly
Movies
Head

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There are times to stay put, and what you want will come to you, and there are times to go out into the world and find such a thing for yourself.
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The rinsed foam swirled into one drain that always clogged come October when the maples dropped Canadian propaganda over everything.
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I gasped and pointed the way. I gave you an adventure, Ed, right in front of you but you never saw it until I showed you, and that's why we broke up.
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When trouble strikes, head to the library. You will either be able to solve the problem, or simply have something to read as the world crashes down around you.
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I go to bed early and rise late and feel as if I have hardly slept, probably because I have been reading almost the entire time.
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For Beatrice, when we met, my life began. Soon afterwards, yours ended.
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It is not the diamonds or the birds, the people or the potatoes, it is not any of the nouns. The miracle is the adverbs, the way things are done. It is the way love gets done despite every catastrophe.
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People don't always get what they deserve in this world.
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You’re just jealous of me because I’m a tap-dancing ballerina fairy princess veterinarian!
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No matter who you are, no matter where you live, and no matter how many people are chasing you, what you don't read is often as important as what you do read.
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Put your hair up, Min. The secret ingredient is not your hair.
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One can remain alive long past the usual date of disintegration if one is unafraid of change, insatiable in intellectual curiosity, interested in big things, and happy in small ways.
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One wanders through life as if wandering through a field in the dark of night, wearing a blindfold and very heavy shoes, with a poisonous toad waiting patiently beneath a clump of weeds, knowing full well that eventually you will step on him.
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Of course I'm trying to trick you! That's the way of the world, Baudelaires. Everyone runs around with their secrets and their schemes, trying to outwit everyone else.
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In general, of course, a stranger who tries to get you into an automobile is anything but noble, and in general a person who quotes great American novelists is anything but treacherous, and in general a man who says you needn't worry about money, or a man who smokes cigarettes, is somewhere in between.
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I liked, I admit, that we didn’t pretend there hadn’t been other girls. There was always a girl on you in the halls at school, like they came free with a backpack.
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Here we are at the bottom, almost empty. It's like confetti, these dried remnants you find in the street for a party no one invited you to. But they used to be, I can admit, part of something beautiful.
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So every so often, when I meet someone who's honestly appalled by my books and doesn't understand why they would be attractive to people... I find such people sort of charming, even though they usually don't like me.
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I started making plans, thinking we would get that far.
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All the secrets of the world are contained in books. Read at your own risk.
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