Quote

Goodness! Golly! Good God! Blessed Allah! Zeus and Hera! Mary and Joseph! Nathaniel Hawthorne! Don't touch her! Grab her! Move closer! Run away! Don't move! Kill the snake! Leave it alone! Give it some food! Don't let it bite her! Lure the snake away! Here, snakey! Here, snakey snakey!

Daniel Handler

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Daniel Handler
Age: 54
Born: 1970
Born: February 28
Accordionist
Author
Musician
Novelist
Screenwriter
Songwriter
Writer
San Francisco County
California
Lemony Snicket
Giving
Move
Bite
Hawthorne
Good
Leave
Bites
Zeus
Food
Mary
Joseph
Alone
Closer
Snake
Moving
Goodness
Lure
Running
Touch
Allah
Nathaniel
Away
Blessed
Grab
Golly
Give
Kill
Snakes
Hera

More quotes by Daniel Handler

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Most schools have a loud system of loud bells, which startle the students and teachers at regular intervals and remind them that time is passing even more slowly than it seems.
Daniel Handler
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Composer” is a word which here means “a person who sits in a room, muttering and humming and figuring out what notes the orchestra is going to play.” This is called composing. But last night, the Composer was not muttering. He was not humming. He was not moving, or even breathing. This is called decomposing.
Daniel Handler
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Stretched out in front of me was my time as an adult, and then a skeleton, and then nothing except perhaps a few books on a few shelves.
Daniel Handler
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This feeling is not unlike the sinking in one's stomach when one is in an elevator that suddenly goes down, or when you are snug in your bed and your closet door suddenly creaks open to reveal the person who has been hiding there.
Daniel Handler
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The way that the stories go in the Snicket books is just the way stories naturally go to me. They're full of misery, and yet the misery ends up being slightly hilarious. And in terms of the warnings on the back of the books, that really started as an honest assessment of their marketability.
Daniel Handler
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This is like a cookie, it tastes like a cookie having sex with a doughnut.
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This is love, to sit with someone you've known forever in a place you've been meaning to go, and watching as their life happens to them until you stand up and it's time to go.
Daniel Handler
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It is easy to decide on what is wrong to wear to a party, such as deep-sea diving equipment or a pair of large pillows, but deciding what is right is much trickier.
Daniel Handler
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It is always cruel to laugh at people, of course, although sometimes if they are wearing an ugly hat it is hard to control yourself.
Daniel Handler
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I’m reminded of a book my father used to read me,” she said. “A bunch of elves and things get into a huge war over a piece of jewelry that everybody wants but nobody can wear.
Daniel Handler
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Assumptions are dangerous things to make, and like all dangerous things to make - bombs, for instance, or strawberry shortcake - if you make even the tiniest mistake you can find yourself in terrible trouble.
Daniel Handler
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There are some who go through life with a shadow hanging over them, particularly if they live in a building which has long wide awnings.
Daniel Handler
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It was a curious feeling, that something could be so close and so distant at the same time.
Daniel Handler
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When I was researching my very first novel, The Basic Eight, I was calling right-wing political and religious organizations and asking them to mail me their material so that I could mock them in my novels.
Daniel Handler
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A girl meets a boy, Ed, and everything changes, or so she says.
Daniel Handler
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A passport, as I'm sure you know, is a document that one shows to government officials whenever one reaches a border between two countries, so that the official can learn who you are, where you were born, and how you look when photographed unflatteringly.
Daniel Handler
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This is an absurd moral, for you and I both know that sometimes not only is it good to lie, it is necessary to lie.
Daniel Handler
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The last time I saw you I was trying to throw thumbtacks into your cradle!
Daniel Handler
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You’re just jealous of me because I’m a tap-dancing ballerina fairy princess veterinarian!
Daniel Handler
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Never mind what my name is,” the man said. “No one can pronounce it anyway. Just call me Sir.
Daniel Handler