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Put your hair up, Min. The secret ingredient is not your hair.

Daniel Handler

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Daniel Handler
Age: 54
Born: 1970
Born: February 28
Accordionist
Author
Musician
Novelist
Screenwriter
Songwriter
Writer
San Francisco County
California
Lemony Snicket
Ingredient
Ingredients
Hair
Secret

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The trick to following someone without getting caught is to follow somebody who doesn't think they're being followed.
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I decided that it might be interesting to have terrible things happen to orphans over and over again.
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One wanders through life as if wandering through a field in the dark of night, wearing a blindfold and very heavy shoes, with a poisonous toad waiting patiently beneath a clump of weeds, knowing full well that eventually you will step on him.
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Well-read people are less likely to be evil.
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Everybody has a theory.
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It was a secret time and place, you next to me, untraceable and out of this world
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I’m reminded of a book my father used to read me,” she said. “A bunch of elves and things get into a huge war over a piece of jewelry that everybody wants but nobody can wear.
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You may be right,' she said, a phrase which here meant 'I’m wrong, but I don’t have the courage to say so.
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And then like a song we'd forgotten was even on the mix, you stepped into the house and my whole life.
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I always think it's silly when people talk about works of culture taking risks. Because there's not any risk involved.
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Chestnuts in stuffing tastes like someone chewed up a tree branch and then French-kissed it into your mouth.
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I have a dream of what would have happened if what happened instead hadn't.
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A girl meets a boy, Ed, and everything changes, or so she says.
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Keep anyone with whom you can read in silence.
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My chauffer once told me that I would feel better in the morning, but when I woke up the two of us were still on a tiny island surrounded by man-eating crocodiles, and, as I'm sure you can understand, I didn't feel any better about it.
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No matter who you are, no matter where you live, and no matter how many people are chasing you, what you don't read is often as important as what you do read.
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Stretched out in front of me was my time as an adult, and then a skeleton, and then nothing except perhaps a few books on a few shelves.
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We are all told to ignore bullies. It's something they teach you, and they can teach you anything. It doesn't mean you learn it. It doesn't mean you believe it. One should never ignore bullies. One should stop them.
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Just because you don't understand it doesn't mean it isn't so.
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It seemed to me that every adult did something terrible sooner or later. And every child, I thought, sooner or later becomes an adult.
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