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The difference between a house and a home is like the difference between a man and a woman-- it might be embarrassing to explain, but it would be very unusual to get them confused.
Daniel Handler
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Daniel Handler
Age: 54
Born: 1970
Born: February 28
Accordionist
Author
Musician
Novelist
Screenwriter
Songwriter
Writer
San Francisco County
California
Lemony Snicket
Men
Explain
Like
Difference
Differences
Woman
House
Home
Embarrassing
Might
Unusual
Would
Confused
More quotes by Daniel Handler
It is not always the job of people shouting outside impressive buildings to solve problems. It is often the job of the people inside, who have paper, pens, desks, and an impressive view.
Daniel Handler
If an optimist had his left arm chewed off by an alligator, he might say in a pleasant and hopeful voice, Well this isn't too bad, I don't have a left arm anymore but at least nobody will ever ask me if I'm left-handed or right-handed, but most of us would say something more along the lines of, Aaaaaa! My arm! My arm!
Daniel Handler
For every teenager I know, having a phone is a mixed blessing, because your parents can press a button and figure out where you are.
Daniel Handler
In America now there is this phenomenon called helicopter parenting, where you're hovering over your child for the whole time. Parents there view their job as being to make sure their kid never has a moment of unhappiness. Of course, as a parent myself, I can understand the urge, but I don't know whether it would be healthy or possible.
Daniel Handler
If writers wrote as carelessly as some people talk, then adhasdh asdglaseuyt[bn[ pasdlgkhasdfasdf.
Daniel Handler
I will love you as the iceberg loves the ship, and the passengers love the lifeboat and the lifeboat loves the teeth of the sperm whale, and the sperm whale loves the flavor of naval uniforms.
Daniel Handler
I hadn't even been looking, not for you, and now you were my heart's desire.
Daniel Handler
And when love is over when the diner of love seems closed from the outside you want all those hours back along with anything you left at the lover’s house and maybe a couple of things which aren’t technically yours on the grounds that you wasted a portion of your life and those hours have all gone southside.
Daniel Handler
There is only laughing across the land as the car moves you along, on your way someplace with love in the car.
Daniel Handler
Everyone tells you it's all right to cry, but not enough people say it's all right if you don't want people to know.
Daniel Handler
Having a personal philosophy is like having a pet marmoset, because it may be very attractive when you acquire it, but there may be situations when it will not come in handy at all.
Daniel Handler
Why not rise from the grave and terrorize a little instead of staying buried and dead in the cemetery?
Daniel Handler
Count Olaf sounds like an awful person. I hope he is torn apart by wild animals someday. Wouldn't that be satisfying?
Daniel Handler
The worst surroundings in the world can be tolerated if the people in them are interesting and kind.
Daniel Handler
I like writing for movies. It's nice to be alone working on fiction in your room, and then it's nice to be in a room with a bunch of people working on a movie.
Daniel Handler
A passport, as I'm sure you know, is a document that one shows to government officials whenever one reaches a border between two countries, so that the official can learn who you are, where you were born, and how you look when photographed unflatteringly.
Daniel Handler
In times of extreme stress, one can often find energy hidden in even the most exhausted areas of the body.
Daniel Handler
I had this idea about terrible things happening to orphans, and I knew it was such a horrible idea that the idea of writing it down and then submitting it professionally was obviously absurd.
Daniel Handler
People don't always get what they deserve in this world.
Daniel Handler
The thing you hope will never happen to you might just happen to someone else instead, who has been spending their life dreading the thing that will happen to you.
Daniel Handler
