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The difference between a house and a home is like the difference between a man and a woman-- it might be embarrassing to explain, but it would be very unusual to get them confused.
Daniel Handler
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Daniel Handler
Age: 54
Born: 1970
Born: February 28
Accordionist
Author
Musician
Novelist
Screenwriter
Songwriter
Writer
San Francisco County
California
Lemony Snicket
Might
Unusual
Would
Confused
Men
Explain
Like
Difference
Differences
Woman
House
Home
Embarrassing
More quotes by Daniel Handler
Having an aura of menace is like having a pet weasel, because you rarely meet someone who has one, and when you do, it makes you want to hide under the coffee table.
Daniel Handler
I often can't remember which scenes are and aren't in the final product, because I saw so many different versions of the Lemony Snicket that I forget which ended up on the cutting-room floor.
Daniel Handler
Arguing with somebody is never pleasant, but sometimes it is useful and necessary to do so.
Daniel Handler
My chauffer once told me that I would feel better in the morning, but when I woke up the two of us were still on a tiny island surrounded by man-eating crocodiles, and, as I'm sure you can understand, I didn't feel any better about it.
Daniel Handler
I never want to be away from you again, except at work, in the restroom or when one of us is at a movie the other does not want to see.
Daniel Handler
Sooner or later, everyone's story has an unfortunate event or two...The solution, of course, is to stay as far away from the world as possible and lead a safe, simple life.
Daniel Handler
But it's far too late for us ring, hair, letters, photographs - all traces of our love will be scattered then, like an anagram.
Daniel Handler
Complimenting someone in an exaggerated way is known as flattery, and flattery will generally get you anything you want.
Daniel Handler
Are you ready? Klaus asked finally. No, Sunny answered. Me neither, Violet said, but if we wait until we're ready we'll be waiting for the rest of our lives, Let's go.
Daniel Handler
They say love's like a bus, and if you wait long enough another one will come along, but not in this place where the buses are slow and most of the cute ones are gay.
Daniel Handler
The way sadness works is one of the strangest riddles of the world.
Daniel Handler
Frustration is an interesting emotional state, because it tends to bring out the worst in whoever is frustrated.
Daniel Handler
If you don’t care about something, one way to demonstrate your feelings is to say the word and then repeat the word with the letters S-C-H-M replacing the first letters. Somebody who didn’t care about dentists, for instance could say ‘Dentist, schmentists.
Daniel Handler
In love, as in life, one misheard word can be tremendously important. If you tell someone you love them, for instance, you must be absolutely certain that they have replied I love you back and not I love your back before you continue the conversation.
Daniel Handler
Lemony Snicket. Now, I'm told - the books, of course, starting from the very first one, became hugely popular, selling millions and millions. And I understand that when you used to go around to talk to your very young fans, you would appear as Lemony Snicket's representative or agent.
Daniel Handler
It looked exhausting and pointless, two things that should be avoided at all costs
Daniel Handler
I don't know if you've ever noticed this, but first impressions are often entirely wrong.
Daniel Handler
Every night I give a violin recital for six hours, and attendance is mandatory. The word 'mandatory' means that if you don't show up, you have to buy me a large bag of candy and watch me eat it.
Daniel Handler
I think if I were walking someplace and I saw a corpse my brain would tell me it was a million things before I believed it was a corpse.
Daniel Handler
You would run much slower if you were dragging something behind you, like a knapsack or a sheriff.
Daniel Handler