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For Beatrice, when we met, my life began. Soon afterwards, yours ended.
Daniel Handler
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Daniel Handler
Age: 54
Born: 1970
Born: February 28
Accordionist
Author
Musician
Novelist
Screenwriter
Songwriter
Writer
San Francisco County
California
Lemony Snicket
Soon
Life
Beatrice
Afterwards
Ended
Began
Mets
More quotes by Daniel Handler
Is it fair for the bears to come down to where humans live, looking for food? Is it fair for the Duke's soldiers to shoot at them? Is it fair for the bears to crush them with giant snowballs? Often, if you point out something that isn't fair, someone will reply, Life isn't fair. What is to be done with such people?
Daniel Handler
They were almond cookies, although they could have been made of spinach and shoes for all I cared. I ate eleven of them, right in a row. It is rude to take the last cookie.
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Count Olaf certainly does sound evil. Imagine forcing children to stand near a stove!
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Everyone tells you it's all right to cry, but not enough people say it's all right if you don't want people to know.
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We are a nation of children letting horrible things happen, and flunking Calc.
Daniel Handler
I will love you as misfortune loves orphans, as fire loves innocence, and as justice loves to sit and watch while everything goes wrong.
Daniel Handler
All cannot be lost when there is still so much being found
Daniel Handler
Stretched out in front of me was my time as an adult, and then a skeleton, and then nothing except perhaps a few books on a few shelves.
Daniel Handler
The thing you hope will never happen to you might just happen to someone else instead, who has been spending their life dreading the thing that will happen to you.
Daniel Handler
They say in every library there is a single book that can answer the question that burns like a fire in the mind.
Daniel Handler
And then like a song we'd forgotten was even on the mix, you stepped into the house and my whole life.
Daniel Handler
There is no way of knowing for sure whether or not you can trust someone, for the simple reason that circumstances change all of the time.
Daniel Handler
Sometimes, even the best of plans will occur to you when it is too late.
Daniel Handler
I always think it's silly when people talk about works of culture taking risks. Because there's not any risk involved.
Daniel Handler
A new experience can be extremely pleasurable, or extremely irritating, or somewhere in between, and you never know until you try it out.
Daniel Handler
Having an aura of menace is like having a pet weasel, because you rarely meet someone who has one, and when you do, it makes you want to hide under the coffee table.
Daniel Handler
I was not a particularly brave child, I think, because I had a narrative mind, because my mind automatically went to any terrible thing that could happen.
Daniel Handler
It is difficult, when faced with a situation you cannot control, to admit you can do nothing.
Daniel Handler
Like People, animals will become frightened and likely do whatever you say if you whip them enough.
Daniel Handler
My chauffer once told me that I would feel better in the morning, but when I woke up the two of us were still on a tiny island surrounded by man-eating crocodiles, and, as I'm sure you can understand, I didn't feel any better about it.
Daniel Handler
