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The sea is nothing but a library of all the tears in history.

Daniel Handler

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Daniel Handler
Age: 54
Born: 1970
Born: February 28
Accordionist
Author
Musician
Novelist
Screenwriter
Songwriter
Writer
San Francisco County
California
Lemony Snicket
History
Nothing
Library
Sea
Tears

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There is a pair of snakes who have learned to drive a car so recklessly that they would run you over in the street and never stop to apologize.
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The sad truth is the truth is sad.
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When do you learn that the world, like any diner worth its salt, is open twenty-four hours a day?
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Well-read people are less likely to be evil.
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I don't know if you've ever noticed this, but first impressions are often entirely wrong.
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Sooner or later, everyone's story has an unfortunate event or two...The solution, of course, is to stay as far away from the world as possible and lead a safe, simple life.
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Like a church bell, a coffin, and a vat of melted chocolate, a supply closet is rarely a comfortable place to hide.
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No reality has the power to dispel a dream.
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I’m happier than a pig eating bacon!
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If you don’t care about something, one way to demonstrate your feelings is to say the word and then repeat the word with the letters S-C-H-M replacing the first letters. Somebody who didn’t care about dentists, for instance could say ‘Dentist, schmentists.
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Everybody has a theory.
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In this book, not only is there no happy ending, there is no happy beginning and very few happy things in the middle.
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It is terribly rude to tell people that their troubles are boring.
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All the secrets of the world are contained in books. Read at your own risk.
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How can someone so wonderful do something so terrible?
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When you say, History is written by the winners, you like to think about someone who isn't you. You want to think, Oh, that's the juggernaut I'm standing against. But you're probably part of it.
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If you enjoy books with happy endings than you are better off reading some other book.
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...you know that a good, long session of weeping can often make you feel better, even if your circumstances have not changed one bit.
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Having a personal philosophy is like having a pet marmoset, because it may be very attractive when you acquire it, but there may be situations when it will not come in handy at all.
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There are two types of panicking: standing still and not saying a word, and leaping all over the place babbling anything that comes into your head.
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