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The sea is nothing but a library of all the tears in history.

Daniel Handler

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Daniel Handler
Age: 54
Born: 1970
Born: February 28
Accordionist
Author
Musician
Novelist
Screenwriter
Songwriter
Writer
San Francisco County
California
Lemony Snicket
Library
Sea
Tears
History
Nothing

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Chestnuts in stuffing tastes like someone chewed up a tree branch and then French-kissed it into your mouth.
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And then of course the music sprang up, lousy rock as bold and dull as a giant potato. Love this song, Todd said, like it was unusually brave to like what was number one on the radio.
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All his life, Klaus had believed that if you read enough books, you could solve any problem, but now he wasn't so sure.
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I had this idea about terrible things happening to orphans, and I knew it was such a horrible idea that the idea of writing it down and then submitting it professionally was obviously absurd.
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I never want to be away from you again, except at work, in the restroom or when one of us is at a movie the other does not want to see.
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It is difficult, when faced with a situation you cannot control, to admit you can do nothing.
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Wishing, like sipping a glass of punch, or pulling aside a bearskin rug in order to access a hidden trapdoor in the floor, is merely a quiet way to spend one's time before the candles are extinguished on one's birthday cake.
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Just because something is traditional is no reason to do it, of course. Piracy, for example, is a tradition that has been carried on for hundreds of years, but that doesn't mean we should all attack ships and steal their gold.
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It is very difficult to make one's way in this world without being wicked at one time or another, when the world's way is so wicked to being with.
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I decided that it might be interesting to have terrible things happen to orphans over and over again.
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It was darker than a pitch-black panther, covered in tar, eating black licorice at the very bottom of the deepest part of the Black Sea.
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This is an absurd moral, for you and I both know that sometimes not only is it good to lie, it is necessary to lie.
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The trick to following someone without getting caught is to follow somebody who doesn't think they're being followed.
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Frustration is an interesting emotional state, because it tends to bring out the worst in whoever is frustrated.
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...you know that a good, long session of weeping can often make you feel better, even if your circumstances have not changed one bit.
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...in life it is often the tiny details that end up being the most important.
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How can someone so wonderful do something so terrible?
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Appearance matters a great deal because you can often tell a lot about people by looking at how they present themselves.
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Hal is on his way. The nurse announced reentering the room.
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Unless you have been very, very lucky, you have undoubtedly experienced events in your life that have made you cry. So unless you have been very, very lucky, you know that a good, long session of weeping can often make you feel better, even if your circumstances have not changed one bit.
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