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For Beatrice, summer without you is as cold as winter. Winter without you, is even colder.

Daniel Handler

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Daniel Handler
Age: 54
Born: 1970
Born: February 28
Accordionist
Author
Musician
Novelist
Screenwriter
Songwriter
Writer
San Francisco County
California
Lemony Snicket
Even
Beatrice
Colder
Winter
Summer
Cold
Without

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We are respecting our parents' wishes....They didn't want to shelter us from the world's treacheries. They wanted us to survive them.
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I decided that it might be interesting to have terrible things happen to orphans over and over again.
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It is always terrible to be told to go play with people one doesn't know.
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Hal is on his way. The nurse announced reentering the room.
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Count Olaf sounds like an awful person. I hope he is torn apart by wild animals someday. Wouldn't that be satisfying?
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They didn't understand it, but like so many unfortunate events in life, just because you don't understand it doesn't mean it isn't so.
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One of the world's most tiresome questions is what object one would bring to a desert island,because people always answer a deck of cards or Anna Karenina when the obvious answer is a well equipped boat and a crew to sail me off the island and back home where I can play all the card games and read all the Russian novels I want.
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Neither were you [born yesterday], unless of course I am wrong, in which case welcome to the world, little baby, and congratulations on learning to read so early in life.
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I'm not very good at the accordion. If I played guitar, I wouldn't be on anyone's album. But because I play the accordion and no one else does, I end up doing strange things.
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If an optimist had his left arm chewed off by an alligator, he might say in a pleasant and hopeful voice, Well this isn't too bad, I don't have a left arm anymore but at least nobody will ever ask me if I'm left-handed or right-handed, but most of us would say something more along the lines of, Aaaaaa! My arm! My arm!
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In America now there is this phenomenon called helicopter parenting, where you're hovering over your child for the whole time. Parents there view their job as being to make sure their kid never has a moment of unhappiness. Of course, as a parent myself, I can understand the urge, but I don't know whether it would be healthy or possible.
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The thing you hope will never happen to you might just happen to someone else instead, who has been spending their life dreading the thing that will happen to you.
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That night it felt that somehow by flicking them off the roof, the matches would burn down everything, the sparks from the tips of the flames, torching the world and all the heartbroken people in it.
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Or why you are wearing a picture of Santa Clause on you shirts, but-” “It’s Herman Melville.
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If you are allergic to a thing, it is best not to put that thing in your mouth, particularly if the thing is cats.
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Why not rise from the grave and terrorize a little instead of staying buried and dead in the cemetery?
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I never want to be away from you again, except at work, in the restroom or when one of us is at a movie the other does not want to see.
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No reality has the power to dispel a dream.
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Members of your family might say they are working hard all day long, while you are off at school or clarinet lessons, but the only way to know this for sure is to follow them at a discreet distance.
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There are two types of panicking: standing still and not saying a word, and leaping all over the place babbling anything that comes into your head.
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