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Tell me what it is, or prepare to eat harpoon.

Daniel Handler

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Daniel Handler
Age: 54
Born: 1970
Born: February 28
Accordionist
Author
Musician
Novelist
Screenwriter
Songwriter
Writer
San Francisco County
California
Lemony Snicket
Harpoon
Prepare
Tell

More quotes by Daniel Handler

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I often can't remember which scenes are and aren't in the final product, because I saw so many different versions of the Lemony Snicket that I forget which ended up on the cutting-room floor.
Daniel Handler
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Having an aura of menace is like having a pet weasel, because you rarely meet someone who has one, and when you do, it makes you want to hide under the coffee table.
Daniel Handler
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You would run much slower if you were dragging something behind you, like a knapsack or a sheriff.
Daniel Handler
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I write storys to entertain not to be the best
Daniel Handler
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Hal is on his way. The nurse announced reentering the room.
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You know I want to be a director, but you could never truly see the movies in my head and that, Ed, is why we broke up.
Daniel Handler
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But I must admit I miss you terribly. The world is too quiet without you nearby.
Daniel Handler
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Nobody wants to hear that you will try your best. It is the wrong thing to say. It is like saying 'I probably won't hit you with a shovel.' Suddenly everyone is afraid you will do the opposite.
Daniel Handler
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It is not the diamonds or the birds, the people or the potatoes, it is not any of the nouns. The miracle is the adverbs, the way things are done. It is the way love gets done despite every catastrophe.
Daniel Handler
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Take back the smile and the night, take it all back, I wish I could.
Daniel Handler
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I was so grateful that Lemony Snicket wasn't the worst movie ever made that I overlooked many things that might have otherwise upset me.
Daniel Handler
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...you know that a good, long session of weeping can often make you feel better, even if your circumstances have not changed one bit.
Daniel Handler
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It is always cruel to laugh at people, of course, although sometimes if they are wearing an ugly hat it is hard to control yourself.
Daniel Handler
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For Beatrice- My love for you shall live forever. You, however, did not.
Daniel Handler
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Never, under any circumstances, let the Virginian wolfsnake near a typewriter.
Daniel Handler
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Announcing your death should be like announcing that you are a lunar moth: It must be done quietly or it will not be believed.
Daniel Handler
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It is always terrible to be told to go play with people one doesn't know.
Daniel Handler
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So she loved him. She just did immediately and again often and clearly naturally and soundly and obviously and many others.
Daniel Handler
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It seems to me that oftentimes in young relationships once there's a problem of some significance then it's almost like they're both racing for the dumper buzzer.
Daniel Handler
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If you are interested in happy endings, you would be better off reading some other book. In this book, not only is there no happy ending, there is no happy beginning and very few happy things in the middle. This is because not very many happy things happened in the lives of the three Baudelaire youngsters.
Daniel Handler