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Tell me what it is, or prepare to eat harpoon.

Daniel Handler

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Daniel Handler
Age: 54
Born: 1970
Born: February 28
Accordionist
Author
Musician
Novelist
Screenwriter
Songwriter
Writer
San Francisco County
California
Lemony Snicket
Harpoon
Prepare
Tell

More quotes by Daniel Handler

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Sometimes, even the best of plans will occur to you when it is too late.
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Santa Claus has nothing to do with it, the latke said. Christmas and Hanukah are completely different things. But different things can often blend together, said the pine tree. Let me tell you a funny story about pagan rituals.
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I stayed there loving you, though the love made me, not sad but I guess melancholy, for a reason I couldn’t point to.
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Well-read people are less likely to be evil.
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My general writing preface is to write an outline and then ignore about half of it, both on a micro level with the individual book, and on a macro level with the series as a whole, and that's pretty much what's happened.
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Sometime during your life—in fact, very soon—you may find yourself reading a book, and you may notice that a book’s first sentence can often tell you what sort of story your book contains.
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There is only laughing across the land as the car moves you along, on your way someplace with love in the car.
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It seemed to me that every adult did something terrible sooner or later. And every child, I thought, sooner or later becomes an adult.
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I don't know if you've ever noticed this, but first impressions are often entirely wrong.
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Count Olaf certainly does sound evil. Imagine forcing children to stand near a stove!
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I like to think that I get better and better as a writer, but it seems pretty easy to me to slip on disguises of various people.
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Opera was an enormous part of my childhood. My parents were both opera buffs, and they met in the box seat of an opera performance. And I also was a boy soprano, so before puberty hit, I was onstage playing a wide variety of orphans and urchins in all sorts of operas, and the sheer melodrama of their stories was just always appealing to me.
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You may be right,' she said, a phrase which here meant 'I’m wrong, but I don’t have the courage to say so.
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It is a lonely feeling when someone you care about becomes a stranger.
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Mostly, it's flattering to meet fans. As long as it's in a planned, professional meeting, rather than, say, someone dropping by my home, which is not as pleasant.
Daniel Handler
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...there's not enough ink and paper to say all I wanted.
Daniel Handler
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Fetching objects for people who are too lazy to fetch them for themselves is never a pleasant task, particularly when the people are insulting you.
Daniel Handler
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Hal is on his way. The nurse announced reentering the room.
Daniel Handler
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and what might seem to be a series of unfortunate events may in fact be the first steps of a journey.
Daniel Handler
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I will love you as misfortune loves orphans, as fire loves innocence, and as justice loves to sit and watch while everything goes wrong.
Daniel Handler