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We laughed the rest of the way, because the point of this story is, it is not the cookies. It is the love.

Daniel Handler

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Daniel Handler
Age: 54
Born: 1970
Born: February 28
Accordionist
Author
Musician
Novelist
Screenwriter
Songwriter
Writer
San Francisco County
California
Lemony Snicket
Stories
Way
Love
Cookies
Laughed
Rest
Story
Point

More quotes by Daniel Handler

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This story is about the Baudelaires. And they are the sort of people who know that there’s always something. Something to invent, something to read, something to bite, and something to do, to make a sanctuary, no matter how small. And for this reason, I am happy to say, the Baudelaires were very fortunate indeed.
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But I must admit I miss you terribly. The world is too quiet without you nearby.
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Having a personal philosophy is like having a pet marmoset, because it may be very attractive when you acquire it, but there may be situations when it will not come in handy at all.
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The sad truth is the truth is sad.
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My chauffer once told me that I would feel better in the morning, but when I woke up the two of us were still on a tiny island surrounded by man-eating crocodiles, and, as I'm sure you can understand, I didn't feel any better about it.
Daniel Handler
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All the secrets of the world are contained in books. Read at your own risk.
Daniel Handler
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When you start reading nonfiction books about piracy, you realize that it's actually just a history of desperate people.
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It is not very polite to interrupt a person, of course, but sometimes if the person is very unpleasant you can hardly stop yourself.
Daniel Handler
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Never mind what my name is,” the man said. “No one can pronounce it anyway. Just call me Sir.
Daniel Handler
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Neither were you [born yesterday], unless of course I am wrong, in which case welcome to the world, little baby, and congratulations on learning to read so early in life.
Daniel Handler
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One wanders through life as if wandering through a field in the dark of night, wearing a blindfold and very heavy shoes, with a poisonous toad waiting patiently beneath a clump of weeds, knowing full well that eventually you will step on him.
Daniel Handler
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It is difficult, when faced with a situation you cannot control, to admit you can do nothing.
Daniel Handler
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Nobody wants to hear that you will try your best. It is the wrong thing to say. It is like saying 'I probably won't hit you with a shovel.' Suddenly everyone is afraid you will do the opposite.
Daniel Handler
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Chestnuts in stuffing tastes like someone chewed up a tree branch and then French-kissed it into your mouth.
Daniel Handler
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It is almost as if happiness is an acquired taste, like coconut cordial or ceviche, to which you can eventually become accustomed, but despair is something surprising each time you encounter it.
Daniel Handler
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A passport, as I'm sure you know, is a document that one shows to government officials whenever one reaches a border between two countries, so that the official can learn who you are, where you were born, and how you look when photographed unflatteringly.
Daniel Handler
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who would dare think that, forever? Some idiot girl who wouldn’t know how things played out.
Daniel Handler
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Everyone on earth would never starve and forever find love and happiness, since we won, but if we’d lost, they would have gouged out our eyes and thrown us naked onto hot coals and poisonous snakes for all the cheering and hugging at the end, strangers hugging like the end of The Omega Virus when Steve Sturmine finds the antidote.
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For Beatrice - you will always be in my mind, in my heart and in your grave.
Daniel Handler
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This toast feels raw. Is it safe to eat raw toast?
Daniel Handler