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Fetching objects for people who are too lazy to fetch them for themselves is never a pleasant task, particularly when the people are insulting you.
Daniel Handler
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Daniel Handler
Age: 54
Born: 1970
Born: February 28
Accordionist
Author
Musician
Novelist
Screenwriter
Songwriter
Writer
San Francisco County
California
Lemony Snicket
Lazy
Pleasant
Task
Particularly
Tasks
Objects
Fetching
Never
Fetch
People
Insulting
More quotes by Daniel Handler
I was so grateful that Lemony Snicket wasn't the worst movie ever made that I overlooked many things that might have otherwise upset me.
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This is love if it's not with you, a terrible fiery something that makes people look away, and it feels like a punch in the throat.
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I don't know if you've ever noticed this, but first impressions are often entirely wrong.
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Lately it has become more and more difficult to attend dinner parties without the evening ending in gunfire or tapioca.
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Death is something you cannot escape, such as death, or a cheesecake that has curdled, both of which always turn up sooner later.
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But I must admit I miss you terribly. The world is too quiet without you nearby.
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Opera was an enormous part of my childhood. My parents were both opera buffs, and they met in the box seat of an opera performance. And I also was a boy soprano, so before puberty hit, I was onstage playing a wide variety of orphans and urchins in all sorts of operas, and the sheer melodrama of their stories was just always appealing to me.
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Just because something is typed-whether it is typed on a business card or typed in a newspaper or book-this does not mean that it is true.
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My chauffer once told me that I would feel better in the morning, but when I woke up the two of us were still on a tiny island surrounded by man-eating crocodiles, and, as I'm sure you can understand, I didn't feel any better about it.
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When do you learn that the world, like any diner worth its salt, is open twenty-four hours a day?
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I had this idea about terrible things happening to orphans, and I knew it was such a horrible idea that the idea of writing it down and then submitting it professionally was obviously absurd.
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Or why you are wearing a picture of Santa Clause on you shirts, but-” “It’s Herman Melville.
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And then of course the music sprang up, lousy rock as bold and dull as a giant potato. Love this song, Todd said, like it was unusually brave to like what was number one on the radio.
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Shyness is a curious thing, because, like quicksand, it can strike people at any time, and also, like quicksand, it usually makes its victims look down.
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Knowing that something is wrong and doing it anyway happens very often in life, and I doubt I will ever know why.
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Reading is one form of escape. Running for your life is another.
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It is not always the job of people shouting outside impressive buildings to solve problems. It is often the job of the people inside, who have paper, pens, desks, and an impressive view.
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All the secrets of the world are contained in books. Read at your own risk.
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Siblings that say they never fight are most definitely hiding something
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For Beatrice- When we were together I felt breathless. Now you are.
Daniel Handler
