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Members of your family might say they are working hard all day long, while you are off at school or clarinet lessons, but the only way to know this for sure is to follow them at a discreet distance.
Daniel Handler
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Daniel Handler
Age: 54
Born: 1970
Born: February 28
Accordionist
Author
Musician
Novelist
Screenwriter
Songwriter
Writer
San Francisco County
California
Lemony Snicket
Working
Family
Clarinet
School
Discreet
Might
Distance
Hard
Lessons
Long
Members
Way
Follow
Sure
More quotes by Daniel Handler
Never trust anyone who has not brought a book with them.
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Miracles are like meatballs, because nobody can exactly agree on what they are made of, where they come from, or how often they should appear.
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How can someone so wonderful do something so terrible?
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If writers wrote as carelessly as some people talk, then adhasdh asdglaseuyt[bn[ pasdlgkhasdfasdf.
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I opened my mouth and kissed you then, the first time all night, attacked you and surrendered completely, and let’s get out of here. I’m ready, I’m finished, let’s not break up, no, no. Take me home, my boyfriend, my love.
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I can't imagine why you would want to take your child to see what the career of a writer is like, because it mostly consists of sitting in a room typing, or going to the library and looking something up. Those are not exciting things to watch.
Daniel Handler
You would run much slower if you were dragging something behind you, like a knapsack or a sheriff.
Daniel Handler
Tell me what it is, or prepare to eat harpoon.
Daniel Handler
It is almost as if happiness is an acquired taste, like coconut cordial or ceviche, to which you can eventually become accustomed, but despair is something surprising each time you encounter it.
Daniel Handler
Deciding whether or not to trust a person is like deciding whether or not to climb a tree, because you might get a wonderful view from the highest branch, or you might simply get covered in sap, and for this reason many people choose to spend their time alone and indoors, where it is harder to get a splinter.
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Everybody has a theory.
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I think if I were walking someplace and I saw a corpse my brain would tell me it was a million things before I believed it was a corpse.
Daniel Handler
It is easy to decide on what is wrong to wear to a party, such as deep-sea diving equipment or a pair of large pillows, but deciding what is right is much trickier.
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Just because something is typed-whether it is typed on a business card or typed in a newspaper or book-this does not mean that it is true.
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Never, under any circumstances, let the Virginian wolfsnake near a typewriter.
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Santa Claus has nothing to do with it, the latke said. Christmas and Hanukah are completely different things. But different things can often blend together, said the pine tree. Let me tell you a funny story about pagan rituals.
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A long time ago, there was no such thing as school, and children spent their days learning a trade, a phrase which here means standing around doing tedious tasks under the instruction of a bossy adult. In time, however, people realized that the children could be allowed to sit, and the first school was invented.
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It is likely I will die next to a pile of things I was meaning to read.
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Composer” is a word which here means “a person who sits in a room, muttering and humming and figuring out what notes the orchestra is going to play.” This is called composing. But last night, the Composer was not muttering. He was not humming. He was not moving, or even breathing. This is called decomposing.
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This is love, and the trouble with it: it can make you embarrassed. Love is really liking someone a whole lot and not wanting to screw that up. Everybody's chewed over this. This unites us, this part of love.
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