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Or why you are wearing a picture of Santa Clause on you shirts, but-” “It’s Herman Melville.

Daniel Handler

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Daniel Handler
Age: 54
Born: 1970
Born: February 28
Accordionist
Author
Musician
Novelist
Screenwriter
Songwriter
Writer
San Francisco County
California
Lemony Snicket
Santa
Shirts
Wearing
Picture
Melville
Herman
Clause
Clauses

More quotes by Daniel Handler

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I want to love you and take you pretty places. Yes, I have things wrong, but also I can walk through walls if you'll let me show you.
Daniel Handler
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They say love's like a bus, and if you wait long enough another one will come along, but not in this place where the buses are slow and most of the cute ones are gay.
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You’re just jealous of me because I’m a tap-dancing ballerina fairy princess veterinarian!
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The whole thing of what I’ve been trying,” you said, “is that you’re different, and you keep asking about the other girls, but what I mean is that I don’t think about them, because of the way you are.
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Santa Claus has nothing to do with it, the latke said. Christmas and Hanukah are completely different things. But different things can often blend together, said the pine tree. Let me tell you a funny story about pagan rituals.
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It is so rare in this world to meet a trustworthy person who truly wants to help you, and finding such a person can make you feel warm and safe, even if you are in the middle of a windy valley high up in the mountains.
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Opera was an enormous part of my childhood. My parents were both opera buffs, and they met in the box seat of an opera performance. And I also was a boy soprano, so before puberty hit, I was onstage playing a wide variety of orphans and urchins in all sorts of operas, and the sheer melodrama of their stories was just always appealing to me.
Daniel Handler
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If an optimist had his left arm chewed off by an alligator, he might say in a pleasant and hopeful voice, Well this isn't too bad, I don't have a left arm anymore but at least nobody will ever ask me if I'm left-handed or right-handed, but most of us would say something more along the lines of, Aaaaaa! My arm! My arm!
Daniel Handler
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There is no way of knowing for sure whether or not you can trust someone, for the simple reason that circumstances change all of the time.
Daniel Handler
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I never want to be away from you again, except at work, in the restroom or when one of us is at a movie the other does not want to see.
Daniel Handler
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I liked, I admit, that we didn’t pretend there hadn’t been other girls. There was always a girl on you in the halls at school, like they came free with a backpack.
Daniel Handler
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In love, as in life, one misheard word can be tremendously important. If you tell someone you love them, for instance, you must be absolutely certain that they have replied I love you back and not I love your back before you continue the conversation.
Daniel Handler
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All cannot be lost when there is still so much being found
Daniel Handler
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People don't always get what they deserve in this world.
Daniel Handler
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The right hand doesn’t know what the left is doing” is a phrase that refers to times when people ought to know, but don’t know, about something that is happening very close to them. For instance, you ought to know about the man who watches you when you sleep.
Daniel Handler
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But I must admit I miss you terribly. The world is too quiet without you nearby.
Daniel Handler
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Lemony Snicket. Now, I'm told - the books, of course, starting from the very first one, became hugely popular, selling millions and millions. And I understand that when you used to go around to talk to your very young fans, you would appear as Lemony Snicket's representative or agent.
Daniel Handler
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How can someone so wonderful do something so terrible?
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I'm not very good at the accordion. If I played guitar, I wouldn't be on anyone's album. But because I play the accordion and no one else does, I end up doing strange things.
Daniel Handler
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We laughed the rest of the way, because the point of this story is, it is not the cookies. It is the love.
Daniel Handler