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Hup hup ha ha hammy hee hee!

Daniel Handler

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Daniel Handler
Age: 54
Born: 1970
Born: February 28
Accordionist
Author
Musician
Novelist
Screenwriter
Songwriter
Writer
San Francisco County
California
Lemony Snicket

More quotes by Daniel Handler

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Anyone who thinks the pen is mightier than the sword has not been stabbed with both.
Daniel Handler
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I liked, I admit, that we didn’t pretend there hadn’t been other girls. There was always a girl on you in the halls at school, like they came free with a backpack.
Daniel Handler
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Goodness! Golly! Good God! Blessed Allah! Zeus and Hera! Mary and Joseph! Nathaniel Hawthorne! Don't touch her! Grab her! Move closer! Run away! Don't move! Kill the snake! Leave it alone! Give it some food! Don't let it bite her! Lure the snake away! Here, snakey! Here, snakey snakey!
Daniel Handler
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We need things, and the opposite of them, and we are so rarely completely comfortable.
Daniel Handler
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If he’s not gay and he hung out with you the whole time, he wanted to be. It’s boyfriend or want to be boyfriend or I guess gay. Those are the choices.
Daniel Handler
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This is love, and the trouble with it: it can make you embarrassed. Love is really liking someone a whole lot and not wanting to screw that up. Everybody's chewed over this. This unites us, this part of love.
Daniel Handler
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I will love you as the iceberg loves the ship, and the passengers love the lifeboat and the lifeboat loves the teeth of the sperm whale, and the sperm whale loves the flavor of naval uniforms.
Daniel Handler
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If everyone fought fire with fire, the whole world would go up in smoke.
Daniel Handler
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Chestnuts in stuffing tastes like someone chewed up a tree branch and then French-kissed it into your mouth.
Daniel Handler
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It is terribly rude to tell people that their troubles are boring.
Daniel Handler
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So every so often, when I meet someone who's honestly appalled by my books and doesn't understand why they would be attractive to people... I find such people sort of charming, even though they usually don't like me.
Daniel Handler
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Siblings that say they never fight are most definitely hiding something
Daniel Handler
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One of the world's most tiresome questions is what object one would bring to a desert island,because people always answer a deck of cards or Anna Karenina when the obvious answer is a well equipped boat and a crew to sail me off the island and back home where I can play all the card games and read all the Russian novels I want.
Daniel Handler
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This is my knife. It is very sharp and very eager to hurt you.
Daniel Handler
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This is like a cookie, it tastes like a cookie having sex with a doughnut.
Daniel Handler
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-Most people would say that she's beautiful. -That's because she's been with most people.
Daniel Handler
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When do you learn that the world, like any diner worth its salt, is open twenty-four hours a day?
Daniel Handler
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I like writing for movies. It's nice to be alone working on fiction in your room, and then it's nice to be in a room with a bunch of people working on a movie.
Daniel Handler
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When you need a haircut, it looks like you have no one to take care of you.
Daniel Handler
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It was a curious feeling, that something could be so close and so distant at the same time.
Daniel Handler