Quote

Santa Claus has nothing to do with it, the latke said. Christmas and Hanukah are completely different things. But different things can often blend together, said the pine tree. Let me tell you a funny story about pagan rituals.

Daniel Handler

Change background

T
T
T

Change font

TAGS & TOPICS

Daniel Handler
Age: 54
Born: 1970
Born: February 28
Accordionist
Author
Musician
Novelist
Screenwriter
Songwriter
Writer
San Francisco County
California
Lemony Snicket
Together
Christmas
Nothing
Completely
Claus
Different
Tree
Pine
Things
Story
Rituals
Funny
Blend
Often
Pagan
Tell
Santa
Stories
Ritual

More quotes by Daniel Handler

Image
Figuratively, they escaped from Cout Olaf and their miserable existence. They did not literally escape, because they were still in his house and vulnerable to Olaf's evil in loco parentis ways.
Daniel Handler
Image
Put your hair up, Min. The secret ingredient is not your hair.
Daniel Handler
Image
There are times to stay put, and what you want will come to you, and there are times to go out into the world and find such a thing for yourself.
Daniel Handler
Image
A girl meets a boy, Ed, and everything changes, or so she says.
Daniel Handler
Image
Love can smack you like a seagull, and pour all over your feet like junkmail. You can't be ready for such a thing any more than salt water taffy gets you ready for the ocean.
Daniel Handler
Image
For obvious reasons, I never told you about my notebook, with a cover as green as mansions long ago, which I use as a commonplace book, a phrase which here means 'place where I have collected passages from some of the most important books I have read.
Daniel Handler
Image
For Beatrice- When we were together I felt breathless. Now you are.
Daniel Handler
Image
It looked exhausting and pointless, two things that should be avoided at all costs
Daniel Handler
Image
It is always terrible to be told to go play with people one doesn't know.
Daniel Handler
Image
There are few sights sadder than a ruined book.
Daniel Handler
Image
I'm not very good at the accordion. If I played guitar, I wouldn't be on anyone's album. But because I play the accordion and no one else does, I end up doing strange things.
Daniel Handler
Image
Goodness! Golly! Good God! Blessed Allah! Zeus and Hera! Mary and Joseph! Nathaniel Hawthorne! Don't touch her! Grab her! Move closer! Run away! Don't move! Kill the snake! Leave it alone! Give it some food! Don't let it bite her! Lure the snake away! Here, snakey! Here, snakey snakey!
Daniel Handler
Image
It is likely I will die next to a pile of things I was meaning to read.
Daniel Handler
Image
Neither were you [born yesterday], unless of course I am wrong, in which case welcome to the world, little baby, and congratulations on learning to read so early in life.
Daniel Handler
Image
The thing you hope will never happen to you might just happen to someone else instead, who has been spending their life dreading the thing that will happen to you.
Daniel Handler
Image
The whole thing of what I’ve been trying,” you said, “is that you’re different, and you keep asking about the other girls, but what I mean is that I don’t think about them, because of the way you are.
Daniel Handler
Image
who would dare think that, forever? Some idiot girl who wouldn’t know how things played out.
Daniel Handler
Image
Miracles can happen, even to those who are small, flammable, and dressed all in black.
Daniel Handler
Image
How can someone so wonderful do something so terrible?
Daniel Handler
Image
This is love, to sit with someone you've known forever in a place you've been meaning to go, and watching as their life happens to them until you stand up and it's time to go.
Daniel Handler