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Your initial opinion on just about anything may change over time.
Daniel Handler
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Daniel Handler
Age: 54
Born: 1970
Born: February 28
Accordionist
Author
Musician
Novelist
Screenwriter
Songwriter
Writer
San Francisco County
California
Lemony Snicket
Change
Anything
May
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Opinion
More quotes by Daniel Handler
There was still plenty of water in the basement, and I felt it soaking me from the knees on down. If someone wanted to torture me until I told them a critical piece of information, all they would have to do is get my socks wet. It feels terrible.
Daniel Handler
If everyone fought fire with fire, the whole world would go up in smoke.
Daniel Handler
It is always tedious when someone tells you that if you don't stop crying, they will give you something to cry about, because if you are crying then you already have something to cry about, and so there is no reason for them to give you anything additional to cry about, thank you very much.
Daniel Handler
My chauffer once told me that I would feel better in the morning, but when I woke up the two of us were still on a tiny island surrounded by man-eating crocodiles, and, as I'm sure you can understand, I didn't feel any better about it.
Daniel Handler
There are so many movies like this, where you thought you were smarter than the screen but the director was smarter than you, of course he's the one, of course it was a dream, of course she's dead, of course, it's hidden right there, of course it's the truth and you in your seat have failed to notice in the dark.
Daniel Handler
Assumptions are dangerous things to make, and like all dangerous things to make - bombs, for instance, or strawberry shortcake - if you make even the tiniest mistake you can find yourself in terrible trouble.
Daniel Handler
Like a church bell, a coffin, and a vat of melted chocolate, a supply closet is rarely a comfortable place to hide.
Daniel Handler
Miracles are like meatballs, because nobody can exactly agree on what they are made of, where they come from, or how often they should appear.
Daniel Handler
...you know that a good, long session of weeping can often make you feel better, even if your circumstances have not changed one bit.
Daniel Handler
I can't imagine why you would want to take your child to see what the career of a writer is like, because it mostly consists of sitting in a room typing, or going to the library and looking something up. Those are not exciting things to watch.
Daniel Handler
The idea that the curtain rises on what is often more or less a happy scene, and it will fall just a few hours later, and everyone will be dead or have gone mad... I find that kind of narrative very appealing.
Daniel Handler
You can't believe everything you read.
Daniel Handler
It is terribly rude to tell people that their troubles are boring.
Daniel Handler
Don’t repeat yourself. It’s not only repetitive, it’s redundant, and people have heard it before.
Daniel Handler
This is an absurd moral, for you and I both know that sometimes not only is it good to lie, it is necessary to lie.
Daniel Handler
I stayed there loving you, though the love made me, not sad but I guess melancholy, for a reason I couldn’t point to.
Daniel Handler
Like a lot of people whose children were small in the 2000s, I read [Daniel Handler] books out loud and I loved them.
Daniel Handler
I had this idea about terrible things happening to orphans, and I knew it was such a horrible idea that the idea of writing it down and then submitting it professionally was obviously absurd.
Daniel Handler
There is nothing particularly wrong with salmon, of course, but like caramel candy, strawberry yogurt, or liquid carpet cleaner, if you eat too much of it you are not going to enjoy your meal.
Daniel Handler
And when love is over when the diner of love seems closed from the outside you want all those hours back along with anything you left at the lover’s house and maybe a couple of things which aren’t technically yours on the grounds that you wasted a portion of your life and those hours have all gone southside.
Daniel Handler
