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Neither were you [born yesterday], unless of course I am wrong, in which case welcome to the world, little baby, and congratulations on learning to read so early in life.

Daniel Handler

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Daniel Handler
Age: 54
Born: 1970
Born: February 28
Accordionist
Author
Musician
Novelist
Screenwriter
Songwriter
Writer
San Francisco County
California
Lemony Snicket
Littles
Unless
Little
Cases
Congratulations
Life
Learning
Welcome
World
Courses
Yesterday
Course
Neither
Wrong
Case
Read
Early
Born
Baby

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One can remain alive long past the usual date of disintegration if one is unafraid of change, insatiable in intellectual curiosity, interested in big things, and happy in small ways.
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...that's not why we broke up. I love it, I miss it, I hate to give it back to you, this complicated thing, it's why we stayed together
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Having an aura of menace is like having a pet weasel, because you rarely meet someone who has one, and when you do, it makes you want to hide under the coffee table.
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Reading is one form of escape. Running for your life is another.
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I think if I were walking someplace and I saw a corpse my brain would tell me it was a million things before I believed it was a corpse.
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Death is something you cannot escape, such as death, or a cheesecake that has curdled, both of which always turn up sooner later.
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I write storys to entertain not to be the best
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Fetching objects for people who are too lazy to fetch them for themselves is never a pleasant task, particularly when the people are insulting you.
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E! Klaus cried. E as in Exit! The Baudelaires ran down E as in Exit, but when they reached the last cabinet, the row was becoming F as in Falling File Cabinets, G as in Go the Other Way! and H as in How in the World Are We Going to Escape?
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A bolt from the blue.
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All cannot be lost when there is still so much being found
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If an optimist had his left arm chewed off by an alligator, he might say in a pleasant and hopeful voice, Well this isn't too bad, I don't have a left arm anymore but at least nobody will ever ask me if I'm left-handed or right-handed, but most of us would say something more along the lines of, Aaaaaa! My arm! My arm!
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Siblings that say they never fight are most definitely hiding something
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They say in every library there is a single book that can answer the question that burns like a fire in the mind.
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It is always sad when someone leaves home, unless they are simply going around the corner and will return in a few minutes with ice-cream sandwiches.
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There are two types of panicking: standing still and not saying a word, and leaping all over the place babbling anything that comes into your head.
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You’re just jealous of me because I’m a tap-dancing ballerina fairy princess veterinarian!
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Of course I'm trying to trick you! That's the way of the world, Baudelaires. Everyone runs around with their secrets and their schemes, trying to outwit everyone else.
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Like People, animals will become frightened and likely do whatever you say if you whip them enough.
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