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Life isn't fair, he said, in his undisguised voice, and for once the Baudelaire orphans agreed with every word the man said.
Daniel Handler
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Daniel Handler
Age: 54
Born: 1970
Born: February 28
Accordionist
Author
Musician
Novelist
Screenwriter
Songwriter
Writer
San Francisco County
California
Lemony Snicket
Voice
Undisguised
Every
Baudelaire
Men
Orphans
Life
Orphan
Agreed
Fairs
Fair
Word
More quotes by Daniel Handler
The right hand doesn’t know what the left is doing” is a phrase that refers to times when people ought to know, but don’t know, about something that is happening very close to them. For instance, you ought to know about the man who watches you when you sleep.
Daniel Handler
Mostly, it's flattering to meet fans. As long as it's in a planned, professional meeting, rather than, say, someone dropping by my home, which is not as pleasant.
Daniel Handler
You would run much slower if you were dragging something behind you, like a knapsack or a sheriff.
Daniel Handler
I liked, I admit, that we didn’t pretend there hadn’t been other girls. There was always a girl on you in the halls at school, like they came free with a backpack.
Daniel Handler
Temper tantrums, however fun they may be to throw, rarely solve whatever problem is causing them.
Daniel Handler
Don’t repeat yourself. It’s not only repetitive, it’s redundant, and people have heard it before.
Daniel Handler
Miracles can happen, even to those who are small, flammable, and dressed all in black.
Daniel Handler
I hadn't even been looking, not for you, and now you were my heart's desire.
Daniel Handler
Your initial opinion on just about anything may change over time.
Daniel Handler
Figuratively, they escaped from Cout Olaf and their miserable existence. They did not literally escape, because they were still in his house and vulnerable to Olaf's evil in loco parentis ways.
Daniel Handler
I want to love you and take you pretty places. Yes, I have things wrong, but also I can walk through walls if you'll let me show you.
Daniel Handler
You’re just jealous of me because I’m a tap-dancing ballerina fairy princess veterinarian!
Daniel Handler
Sooner or later, everyone's story has an unfortunate event or two...The solution, of course, is to stay as far away from the world as possible and lead a safe, simple life.
Daniel Handler
Grief, a type of sadness that most often occurs when you have lost someone you love, is a sneaky thing, because it can disappear for a long time, and then pop back up when you least expect it.
Daniel Handler
We are a nation of children letting horrible things happen, and flunking Calc.
Daniel Handler
The idea that the curtain rises on what is often more or less a happy scene, and it will fall just a few hours later, and everyone will be dead or have gone mad... I find that kind of narrative very appealing.
Daniel Handler
I’m happier than a pig eating bacon!
Daniel Handler
Just because something is typed-whether it is typed on a business card or typed in a newspaper or book-this does not mean that it is true.
Daniel Handler
It is almost as if happiness is an acquired taste, like coconut cordial or ceviche, to which you can eventually become accustomed, but despair is something surprising each time you encounter it.
Daniel Handler
Appearance matters a great deal because you can often tell a lot about people by looking at how they present themselves.
Daniel Handler
