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How can someone so wonderful do something so terrible?
Daniel Handler
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Daniel Handler
Age: 54
Born: 1970
Born: February 28
Accordionist
Author
Musician
Novelist
Screenwriter
Songwriter
Writer
San Francisco County
California
Lemony Snicket
Terrible
Wonderful
Someone
Something
More quotes by Daniel Handler
Chestnuts in stuffing tastes like someone chewed up a tree branch and then French-kissed it into your mouth.
Daniel Handler
One can remain alive long past the usual date of disintegration if one is unafraid of change, insatiable in intellectual curiosity, interested in big things, and happy in small ways.
Daniel Handler
Every night I give a violin recital for six hours, and attendance is mandatory. The word 'mandatory' means that if you don't show up, you have to buy me a large bag of candy and watch me eat it.
Daniel Handler
If you don’t care about something, one way to demonstrate your feelings is to say the word and then repeat the word with the letters S-C-H-M replacing the first letters. Somebody who didn’t care about dentists, for instance could say ‘Dentist, schmentists.
Daniel Handler
And then of course the music sprang up, lousy rock as bold and dull as a giant potato. Love this song, Todd said, like it was unusually brave to like what was number one on the radio.
Daniel Handler
It is my fate that some of my questions will never be answered.
Daniel Handler
For obvious reasons, I never told you about my notebook, with a cover as green as mansions long ago, which I use as a commonplace book, a phrase which here means 'place where I have collected passages from some of the most important books I have read.
Daniel Handler
Everyone on earth would never starve and forever find love and happiness, since we won, but if we’d lost, they would have gouged out our eyes and thrown us naked onto hot coals and poisonous snakes for all the cheering and hugging at the end, strangers hugging like the end of The Omega Virus when Steve Sturmine finds the antidote.
Daniel Handler
The Basic Eight and Watch Your Mouth both have first-person voices, and I ended up investigating those voices and investing so much in them that I think many people took them more seriously than they ought to have.
Daniel Handler
You’re just jealous of me because I’m a tap-dancing ballerina fairy princess veterinarian!
Daniel Handler
That night it felt that somehow by flicking them off the roof, the matches would burn down everything, the sparks from the tips of the flames, torching the world and all the heartbroken people in it.
Daniel Handler
They say love's like a bus, and if you wait long enough another one will come along, but not in this place where the buses are slow and most of the cute ones are gay.
Daniel Handler
I like to think that I get better and better as a writer, but it seems pretty easy to me to slip on disguises of various people.
Daniel Handler
If you wish to avoid an unpleasant story you had best put this book down
Daniel Handler
Love was in the air, so both of us walked through love on our way to the corner.
Daniel Handler
I’m reminded of a book my father used to read me,” she said. “A bunch of elves and things get into a huge war over a piece of jewelry that everybody wants but nobody can wear.
Daniel Handler
Temper tantrums, however fun they may be to throw, rarely solve whatever problem is causing them.
Daniel Handler
It seems to me that oftentimes in young relationships once there's a problem of some significance then it's almost like they're both racing for the dumper buzzer.
Daniel Handler
It is very easy to say that the important thing is to try your best, but if you are in real trouble the most important thing is not trying your best, but getting to safety.
Daniel Handler
The trick to following someone without getting caught is to follow somebody who doesn't think they're being followed.
Daniel Handler